...NEW YEAR...

Ok so I know I have been slacking on my posts so here is one, but I am going to warn you it might be a downer because I am just in a downer kind of mood lately so read at your own risk :) Well Christmas came and went, and it was good but I am glad it is over to be honest, it is just hard for me to be happy around the holidays I am tired of it being so commercialized and all about gifts so that so many of us forget what Christmas is all about. And I am not ready to start a new year I honestly wish I could go back a few years and stay there FOREVER (with the exceptions of being married to Dust and my sweet girl Mylee) but then at the same time I am glad to see 2009 be in the past, it was an emotional rollercaoster for my family and so many 1st's (as in Cam's 1st birthday since his death, the 1st New Years Eve, 1st Easter, 1st time celebrating my birthday without him since he was born, 1st Memorial Day and so on) it made it a rough year and they say time will heal and I am hoping it does I know it will never take the pain away or make us forget but hopefully it will get easier. We had to watch our BEST FRIENDS that are more family bury their young son and that tore me apart for them to feel that pain I know oh so well and seeing them suffer is so hard. We also lost my Great Grandma Tice ironically exactly one year to the day that my other Great Grandma died last year. But 2009 also had its ups I married my best friend and the love of my life and we bought our first home together. I feel like throughout the past year my relationships with my husband, parents and family have become stronger and I am so grateful to have them in my life. I still need to decide what my New Year's Resolution is going to be (I am thinking to lose some weight and be more positive). I want to say thanks to all my family and friends who have been there for us this year through the happy and sad times, and to all my blogging friends that leave me sweet comments and want to know what is going on in our lives. I hope that everyone has a FUN and SAFE New Years! :)

mY sWeeT hUbbY...

Ok so I have to give a little shout out to my hubby. Friday night I came home from work and felt so sick so I layed on the couch with my babies and just watched TV, well I must have fallen asleep and when I woke up Dustin was up in the kitchen making noise, I asked him "what are you doing babe?" and he said "just making us some dinner". Now this is no ordinary thing, Dust does not cook AT ALL and has never made dinner so I was completely shocked and thought it was so cute and thoughtful of him. He had planned on making mac and cheese with little weenies cut up in it but he forgot to make sure we had sauce, which we didn't so he made garlic alfredo sauce with little weenies, quite the combo I must say LOL but I was so excited I didn't even care I ate it with a smile on my face :) and I didn't even mind the mess he left that I picked up later. I still am so impressed that he didn't over cook the noodles, first his first meal I think that is pretty good! I love my hubby so very much and I am so grateful that I get to come home to him every night! Thanks for the first dinner babe and hopefully there will be many more to come.

BaBy BuG...

Ok so this blog post is going to get a little personal for me but I need some help. As a woman what do you do when you are more than ready for a baby but your husband is not jumping on board with it? I feel like being a woman getting preggers is such an amazing thing to be able to carry a life that you created in you and when you are ready for it but your hubby isn't it is a VERY emotional thing, trust me I am in the middle of it now. I have been ready for months but agreed to hold off until after our vacation to Jamaica in May of next year but here is where it gets a little personal for me. As you all know I lost my little brother a year ago and he visits me often in my dreams, well for about a month now every time he comes I have been telling my mom I think he is trying to tell me our baby is ready, so I just played it off but a couple weeks ago he came again and the message was very clear he brought a baby girl to me and she was mine! So now this baby thing has become such a MUST for me and after having my brother tell me it is time I feel like I can't wait any longer and in my heart it is just what I am ready for at this point in my life. It has made me emotional and I cry about it all the time, the combination of wanting it to begin with and now having my brother tell me it is time is becoming unbearable not to get prego. So here is the million dollar question how can I make my hubby see why this is so important to me cause trust me I have tried and is it selfish for him to be holding me back or me pressuring him into it! UGH so frustrating! :(

TeAm JaCoB...

So we went and saw New Moon on Friday and yes when I say WE I mean Dustin & I. I drug him to the movie along with my Mom and Dad, I loved it I can't wait to see it again! And even though my Mom loves to rub it in my face I have switched teams...I am in love with Jacob he is so SEXY and he is so SWEET ugh I just fell in love with him :) Honestly how can you not, girls if you are still in love with Edward after seeing Jacob I think you need to have your head checked!

Mmmmm

Sorry Rob your just not doing it for me either...

Oh and P.S. I am really starting to dislike Bella who is she to play these two against each other like she is some prize! Not to mention she totally led Jacob along and used him as her fill in for someone who left her, I need to get a Team Bella Sucks shirt!

...HaLLoWeeN...

I love Halloween it is by far my FAV! So I still shocked at myself for not dressing up this year, I had planned on it of course but Cam's old football team made it to the mini bowl and they were playing on Halloween night. I could't get not going to support them off my mind all morning and I just felt I really needed to be there, so last minute we decided to go support the boys so that meant no costume because I was not about to freeze in it at the game since we were headed to a party right after. But I am glad we went to the football game even though it was a BUMMER the boys lost :( and there is always next year for my costume, and that gives me a WHOLE year to lose some weight to look better in it (ready to drag my out of shape butt running Paige :) ha ha! But I did dress my babies up so here are a few pics of them, and some recent pics. Hope everyone had a fun & safe Halloween! Our family on Halloween My Cute Bumble Bee
My Cute Pumpkin
All my Babies :)

Coop & Mylee these two are bes frens it is so cute to watch them!

...CoOpEr...

So last night my parents got another beagle...we named him Cooper Edward :) He is so stinkin cute and we already love this little guy so much. He came home last night and was running around playing all night long, except Mylee didn't really know what to think of him at first and I think he was starting to annoy her, so I guess now she knows how her brother feels when she bugs him. My family is on this beagle kick, we now have three between us. It all started when my parents got Zoey for Cam and we have all fallen in love with the breed, if any of you have ever had one you know they are a lot of work but so so worth it! I love dogs SO much I feel bad for people that didn't grow up with one or don't have one in their home now, I don't think a home is complete without one. "Who ever said money can't buy happiness has never owned a puppy"!

The one who started it all...our niece Zoey June!

Our baby boy...Rosko Burke!

Our baby girl...Mylee Rae or Sis!

...SePtEmBeR 26, 2009...

Ok so now that life is semi back to normal I can finally post some of my pics from the wedding. Our wedding day was EVERYTHING I dreamed of and much much more, it turned out to be so beautiful and it sure made all me & my moms hard work so worth it. Everyone kept asking if I was nervous to marry Dust and I never got nervous at all (no joke) I think it is because I have never been so sure of something in my life. I was a little nervous that I was going to lose it without my brother there in person but I know he was there and with me the entire time or I would not have made it through the day holding it together as well as I did. They day went by so fast like everyone said it would and I can actually say I am sad it is over so I am glad I have awesome pictures to remember it. I love Dustin with everything that I am and I love being married, even as close as we are being married has changed our relationship I feel like we are closer than ever and it just makes me smile to call him husband and call myself his wife. I love you babe and I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with you, and enjoy life's adventures with you! Everyone wore these angel pins in memory of my baby brother. (Great idea Mommy!)
Husband & Wife FINALLY!
Mom gettin me ready, I love this pic!
Me & my Daddy so presh!
LOVED my cake
Ring shot
My favorite thing to do...Kiss him!
Dust wanted to be all sweet about this feeding each other thing he was saying no don't smash it in my face, what did I do....Yep SMASHED it in his face!
This is my brothers Bronco so we took some pics by it and I love them!

Another Bronco shot with my beautiful bouquet

Great pic of the boys :)My lovely ladies, and can you believe my maid of honor on my right (Karlie) had my nephew only a week ago when this pic was taken.Nat, Me, and Stine. Such a cute picture

ToDaY!

TODAY!... Is the day I get to marry my best friend and the love of my life :) I am so excited I can hardly stand it... I love you boo FOREVER and ALWAYS!

ThIs SaTuRdAy...

This Saturday, September 26, 2009 I get to marry my best friend, soul mate, and the love of my life. It is so close I am feeling so many emotions. I met Dustin when we were 19 and nothing really came of it, but a year later we acutally hung out and I don't believe in love at first sight (just cause I don't think you can love someone you don't know) but I knew they was something special between us! I never thought that I would find someone that is so perfect for me, I am SO grateful to have him in my life and I honestly don't know what I would do without him. He is such an amazing person and has changed my life in so many ways I don't know how I could ever thank him enough for that. I love him so much and I can't wait to be his wife, I am going to spend the rest of my life loving him unconditionally and making him as happy as he has made me. I love you Boo, forever and always!

mY bRoThEr...

So Friday September 11, 2009 was the one year anniversary of my brothers death. I have been dreading this day for so very long because I knew it was going to be a hard one. Suprisingly I did ok that day I thought I had gotten all the crying out that morning and spent the day with my parents and just remembered Cam. Well I went home that night and lost it, I packed Rosko up at like 9 and headed to the cemetery (for the 2nd time that day) in the dark like a crazy woman and just cried, and my mom finally came and got me because she didn't like me there alone in the dark. I just wanted to say that me and my brother were so very close and did everything together and talked all day long on the phone and text messages, there was never a doubt about how much he meant to me and what a strong bond we shared it was special and everyone around us seen it and would always say they wished they had a relationship like that with their siblings. Well let me just tell you, I had NO IDEA the impact that boy had in my life he is such a big part of me that I have come to the conclusion that I will never be 100% until I am with him again, his death is a void in my life that will never be filled. Cam was such a good person it is absolutley amazing the impact he had on so many peoples lives, I hope he knows and sees just how much he meant to everyone. I truly believe that after all he had been through at the hospital that he decided to leave this earth because of all that he would have had to live with after it was all said and done, I don't blame him. I am so grateful to have had him in my life and all this pain is a small price to pay for the time I had with him and I would do it all over again. I am also so grateful for the gospel and the peace of mind it gives me knowing that he is in a better place and that we are an eternal family and I will get to be with him again one day, I always tell my mom I feel sorry for people who don't have the gospel in their lives and have to deal with this pain on their own because my FAITH is all that gets me through it. I am grateful for my friends & family that sent nice messages and flowers to let us know they were thinking of us, also my Parents I don't know what we would do without each other our strong relationship helps us to be there for each other I love them so much! And last but not least I am so thankful for Dustin he lets me cry to him and break down and is just there, And when I have a crazy melt down he doesn't say a word other than letting me know how much he loves me and I love and appreciate him more than I could ever explain. Sorry about another sad post, but I wanted to do one in my Brother's memory.

No MoRe TaNNiNg FoR mE...

So for months I have been a TOTAL FREAK about being tan in all my pictures and for my wedding day, especially since my hair is super blonde right now I didn't want to look like a ghost. Well recently a really good friend of mine, actually she is family...anways Stacy told me to never go tanning again because her cousin has Melanoma and it is just not worth it. So that got me wondering and I have done a ton on research on it and let me just tell you if you have not read about it and you tan you NEED too. It is so scary, I read how it not only affects your skin but can affect your organs and insides :( Also that if you tan regularly before the age of 30 you are 70% more likely to get it! I was so amazed at how many people get it and die from it a year, it totally freaked me out and I never care if I get into a tanning bed again I will just be white and I really will be because I have such fair skin. So for the wedding I am going to do the whole spray tan thing, Karlie found a way good place that I am going to use but does anyone have any recommendations on how soon before the wedding I should go? I heard for the first day maybe two it gets on your clothes a bit and I really don't want it on my dress! HELP!

sOmE pIcS...

So this post is just going to be a picture overload since I have been so lazy and busy lately I haven't posted any of them. Some are from our trip to the Zoo when we took my little cousins, Some are from Tyler & Lyns BBQ for Tyler's birthday and last but defintely not least are pics of my babies!! Only 23 days until the wedding :)

These pictures are not posed, I caught them laying like this on my bed when I was getting ready! TOO CUTE!

I know it may sound crazy, but my dogs are so photogenic, I seriously have no trouble getting good pictures of them.

OuR bIsHoP...

So I just wanted to blog about how I am feeling today. I wanted to tell everyone what an AMAZING bishop we have. As some of you may know my family and I have not been to "regular" with going to church the past little while for different reasons, lazy is probably the real reason when it comes down to it. Anyways while Cameron was in the hospital and after he passed our Bishop was by our side every step of the way, and even though that is what they do he was there as a friend and a bishop, he truly cared about Cameron's and our well being. Not once did he ask us to come back to church or pressure us to he was simply just there for us for whatever we needed. At that point I decided that my heart was completely set on this amazing man marrying Dustin and I when we were ready, and now that time is here. Our bishop was diagnosed with bladder cancer a month or so ago and they removed a cancerous tumor from him. He went back last week for more check ups/surgery and every tumor they removed from him was non-cancerous! He ran into my dad this morning and told him the good news and said that he wanted to thank our family for praying for him because he knows that we have a special link up there and he knows our prayers helped him. He also said I know one of the reasons I am better is because Cameron knows how much it means to his sister that I marry them. I just wanted to say how grateful I am for special people like him in my life and for the church, we all know that our Bishops are chosen by our Heavenly Father and they get chosen because of the wonderful people they are and the strong testimonies they have. I also want to say how thankful I am to have the gospel in my life, no matter all the wrong choices I have made in my life or that I stopped going to church I have never stopped believing in the gospel. I feel so lucky to have it in my life especially after all we have gone through I always tell my mom I dont know how people can deal with death and just life without knowing their loved ones are in a better place and we will be with them again. One of my favorite sayings is "If God will bring you to it, he will bring you through it" I believe that with all my heart, life gets really crapy sometimes and we may not know why we are experiencing the trials we are but there is a purpose and someday we will learn why if we stay strong.

tHe cOuNtDoWn iS oN...

So I know I have totally been slacking with updating my blog but I have been so busy lately. Everything with the wedding is coming down to the last minute and its getting very stressful, I still am looking for a DJ so if anyone has any recommendations please let me know ASAP so I can get that out of the way, I would really rather use someone that someone else liked instead of not knowing them! Only 1 Month 2 Weeks and 1 Day until I am Mrs. Hammon :) I just got my bridals done on Sunday so there are a few on FaceBook if you want to check them out, I know it is a LONG shot but I dont want Dust to see them on here so I wont be posting any :( Other than that not to much new going on with us other than Mylee is getting so big I need to post some new pics of her because her coloring has changed so much. Last night me and Dust made them some blankets, just the fleece ones you tie but Rosko was so excited he couldn't wait for his to be done he kept rolling around on it while we were trying to cut it, and Dust is so cute he helped me tie them both. I also need to say thanks to my wonderful mom she has been helping so much with this wedding I appreciate it so much and my mother in law for doing the "groom" stuff on her own so it is one less thing on our plate I am so tired of making decisions!! And to my "sista" she knows who she is and is the BEST friend I could have ever asked for, she is to cute and excited to do my shower and I appreciate it! LOVE YOU ALL!!

eNgAgEmEnTs

So we finally did our engagements a week ago, I have been so anxious to do these because I have amazing photographers and I was so excited to have some nice pictures of me and Dustin. Here are just a few of my favs so far...we still haven't seen them all yet. I can't believe the wedding is getting so close! We are so excited! Dang! We look so good together! LOL :)

FoUrTh oF jULy...

So I ruined our 4th of July this year, because of my stupid kidney infection. We had planned on having a few people over for a BBQ and fireworks but Friday night my body had other plans for me. I woke up with the chills, fever, back pain, body aches and of course throwing up. I honestly could not move for 2 days and I am still not feeling good but I guess better than I did, I can honestly say I have never been this sick in my life it has been miserable. But I am so thankful for my awesome lover Dust he took such good care of me and was so helpful around the house and with the dogs...Love you Boo. And my parents they came over and made us dinner on the 4th since I could not cook and came to my rescue with medicine...Love them too. Oh and I cant forget my babies they never left my side and hung out with me for the past few days while I have been laid up...Love you Rosko & Mylee. Hope everyone had a better 4th of July than we did!

tO cUtE fOr WoRdS...

So I thought this was so stinkin cute, Monday night I was cleaning up dinner and Dust got this bright idea to take the dogs for a little walk to our mail box since it is at the end of the street. I bought one of those leash connectors so you can walk 2 dogs with 1 leash, great idea. Well Mylee did not like the leash thing one bit so she freaked out half way to the mail box and pulled Rosko's collar off, good thing he sticks around and doesnt really even need a leash. Here are some pics of them walking & running from Dustin. I just thought it was so cute that he took them knowing it was going to be pain in the butt, he is such a great daddy. And I cannot even believe our wedding is like less than 3 months away, WOW time flies I cant wait to be Mrs. Hammon! :)