Monday, September 14, 2009

mY bRoThEr...

So Friday September 11, 2009 was the one year anniversary of my brothers death. I have been dreading this day for so very long because I knew it was going to be a hard one. Suprisingly I did ok that day I thought I had gotten all the crying out that morning and spent the day with my parents and just remembered Cam. Well I went home that night and lost it, I packed Rosko up at like 9 and headed to the cemetery (for the 2nd time that day) in the dark like a crazy woman and just cried, and my mom finally came and got me because she didn't like me there alone in the dark. I just wanted to say that me and my brother were so very close and did everything together and talked all day long on the phone and text messages, there was never a doubt about how much he meant to me and what a strong bond we shared it was special and everyone around us seen it and would always say they wished they had a relationship like that with their siblings. Well let me just tell you, I had NO IDEA the impact that boy had in my life he is such a big part of me that I have come to the conclusion that I will never be 100% until I am with him again, his death is a void in my life that will never be filled. Cam was such a good person it is absolutley amazing the impact he had on so many peoples lives, I hope he knows and sees just how much he meant to everyone. I truly believe that after all he had been through at the hospital that he decided to leave this earth because of all that he would have had to live with after it was all said and done, I don't blame him. I am so grateful to have had him in my life and all this pain is a small price to pay for the time I had with him and I would do it all over again. I am also so grateful for the gospel and the peace of mind it gives me knowing that he is in a better place and that we are an eternal family and I will get to be with him again one day, I always tell my mom I feel sorry for people who don't have the gospel in their lives and have to deal with this pain on their own because my FAITH is all that gets me through it. I am grateful for my friends & family that sent nice messages and flowers to let us know they were thinking of us, also my Parents I don't know what we would do without each other our strong relationship helps us to be there for each other I love them so much! And last but not least I am so thankful for Dustin he lets me cry to him and break down and is just there, And when I have a crazy melt down he doesn't say a word other than letting me know how much he loves me and I love and appreciate him more than I could ever explain. Sorry about another sad post, but I wanted to do one in my Brother's memory.

7 comments:

Shanna said...

kaylee i can't even imagine! our hearts and prayers go out to you guys. how blessed we are to have the gospel and know that they're their waiting for us on the other side. God bless you guys. If you ever need a friend, i'm here for ya.

Denise H. said...

Oh Kaylee I am sitting here bawling my eyes out reading your post. I am SO SORRY Girl! I never met Cam but from what I have heard he is a Very Special Kid.

He is watching over you, happy for you and will always be with you. And yes.. you will one day be with him again.

Cody and Paige said...

Kaylee... I am so sorry for the loss of your brother one year ago. I could never imagine what that must be like. You are such a strong girl and a great example to everyone who knows you I'm sure. Your brother is watching over you and, even though it doesn't really lessen the pain for you, the knowledge that you WILL be with him again someday is truly a blessing. I am always here to talk if you need me :)

Wrendy and Bronson said...

Kaylee, I am so sorry for your loss a year ago. It is never easy loosing someone you love, but espically somone you are so close with. Our prayers are with you guys.

Unknown said...

Kaylee I am so sorry :( Those anniversary dates can be so hard. But that is why we should celebrate the life of our loved ones who passed, and it tends to help. (Which I am sure you know.)
You really are a wonderful person! This post gave me chills, and brought tears to my eyes!
You're in my thoughts, and I wish you and your family the best!!
XOXO

brady and kenzie said...

Kaylee I am SO sorry! I can't even imagine how hard this has been on your family and my thoughts and prayers are with you. Losing someone who is so young and has so much life left to live is so hard and I hope you are doing ok. If you need anything, please let me know.

Allison and Darin said...

Oh, Kaylee. I didn't know you lost your brother... I'm so so very sorry. It breaks my heart just thinking of how I would feel if I lost any of mine and I'm so sorry you have to endure it. Thank you so much for your heartfelt post and reminder that the gospel is the ultimate guide and comfort! I'm so grateful to have it too, and I know you'll be with him again someday! And I'm sure he's watching you all the time. Hold close to those around you... Again, thank you for sharing.