...NEW YEAR...

Ok so I know I have been slacking on my posts so here is one, but I am going to warn you it might be a downer because I am just in a downer kind of mood lately so read at your own risk :) Well Christmas came and went, and it was good but I am glad it is over to be honest, it is just hard for me to be happy around the holidays I am tired of it being so commercialized and all about gifts so that so many of us forget what Christmas is all about. And I am not ready to start a new year I honestly wish I could go back a few years and stay there FOREVER (with the exceptions of being married to Dust and my sweet girl Mylee) but then at the same time I am glad to see 2009 be in the past, it was an emotional rollercaoster for my family and so many 1st's (as in Cam's 1st birthday since his death, the 1st New Years Eve, 1st Easter, 1st time celebrating my birthday without him since he was born, 1st Memorial Day and so on) it made it a rough year and they say time will heal and I am hoping it does I know it will never take the pain away or make us forget but hopefully it will get easier. We had to watch our BEST FRIENDS that are more family bury their young son and that tore me apart for them to feel that pain I know oh so well and seeing them suffer is so hard. We also lost my Great Grandma Tice ironically exactly one year to the day that my other Great Grandma died last year. But 2009 also had its ups I married my best friend and the love of my life and we bought our first home together. I feel like throughout the past year my relationships with my husband, parents and family have become stronger and I am so grateful to have them in my life. I still need to decide what my New Year's Resolution is going to be (I am thinking to lose some weight and be more positive). I want to say thanks to all my family and friends who have been there for us this year through the happy and sad times, and to all my blogging friends that leave me sweet comments and want to know what is going on in our lives. I hope that everyone has a FUN and SAFE New Years! :)

mY sWeeT hUbbY...

Ok so I have to give a little shout out to my hubby. Friday night I came home from work and felt so sick so I layed on the couch with my babies and just watched TV, well I must have fallen asleep and when I woke up Dustin was up in the kitchen making noise, I asked him "what are you doing babe?" and he said "just making us some dinner". Now this is no ordinary thing, Dust does not cook AT ALL and has never made dinner so I was completely shocked and thought it was so cute and thoughtful of him. He had planned on making mac and cheese with little weenies cut up in it but he forgot to make sure we had sauce, which we didn't so he made garlic alfredo sauce with little weenies, quite the combo I must say LOL but I was so excited I didn't even care I ate it with a smile on my face :) and I didn't even mind the mess he left that I picked up later. I still am so impressed that he didn't over cook the noodles, first his first meal I think that is pretty good! I love my hubby so very much and I am so grateful that I get to come home to him every night! Thanks for the first dinner babe and hopefully there will be many more to come.

BaBy BuG...

Ok so this blog post is going to get a little personal for me but I need some help. As a woman what do you do when you are more than ready for a baby but your husband is not jumping on board with it? I feel like being a woman getting preggers is such an amazing thing to be able to carry a life that you created in you and when you are ready for it but your hubby isn't it is a VERY emotional thing, trust me I am in the middle of it now. I have been ready for months but agreed to hold off until after our vacation to Jamaica in May of next year but here is where it gets a little personal for me. As you all know I lost my little brother a year ago and he visits me often in my dreams, well for about a month now every time he comes I have been telling my mom I think he is trying to tell me our baby is ready, so I just played it off but a couple weeks ago he came again and the message was very clear he brought a baby girl to me and she was mine! So now this baby thing has become such a MUST for me and after having my brother tell me it is time I feel like I can't wait any longer and in my heart it is just what I am ready for at this point in my life. It has made me emotional and I cry about it all the time, the combination of wanting it to begin with and now having my brother tell me it is time is becoming unbearable not to get prego. So here is the million dollar question how can I make my hubby see why this is so important to me cause trust me I have tried and is it selfish for him to be holding me back or me pressuring him into it! UGH so frustrating! :(