The Hammon's

...My Daughter...

2011-10-10T10:38:00.004-06:00

"No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside."

...4 months...

2011-09-27T16:30:00.004-06:00

Paislee celebrated her 4 month birthday on Sunday, September 18, 2011. She is just the cutest thing ever and is getting soooo big! Her are some pictures of our 4 month photo shoot.

My favorite
Looking at Daddy instead of the camera

Now looking at her mobile instead of the camera

Grabbing her 4 month sign

She decided to lay on her bear instead of sit by it

and Paislee letting me know she is done with her photo shoot

Here are Miss Paislee's updates at 4 months

*Weighs 14.8 pounds

*24 1/2" long

*Started eating baby food this month! Her first ever veggie was squash and now she has had some green beans and mashed potatoes, which she loves! This kid is an eater.

*Said her first word...MA, yes I am not crazy. 3 others witnessed when she gets upset and wants me she looks at me and says Ma. Melts my heart everytime.

*Got a bouncer and walker and even though she can't touch the ground she LOVES playing in them.

*She figured out how to splash in the tub and splashes me and just giggles

*Loves her feet, one of her favorite things to do is lay on her back so she can eat her feet

*Grabbing and pulling on everything (hair, the dogs ears, grandpas beard) and then as soon as she has it she wants it in her mouth

*Loves to be naked

*Giggles when we tickle those chunky thighs or arms

*Still super nosey and a ham

*Discovered that she now no longer likes her car seat and gets mad everytime we put her in it

*Loves being outside no matter what we are doing, but especially loves watching football

Paislee just has the cutest personality and is so fun, she makes so many people lives happy with her sweet smile!

Love you little Miss Paislee Cam

...3 Months...

2011-08-23T13:08:00.006-06:00

WOW! Where does the time go, I swear once you have a child your life instantly switches to "fast forward".

On August 18, 2011 little Miss Paislee Cam turned 3 months old, I still don't believe that she is that old but at the same time I can't imagine life without her and it's almost like she has always been apart of our lives (that totally doesn't make any sense, unless you are a parent and those of you that aren't will understand what I mean). Here are some pictures from our 3 month photo shoot.

My cute little bug
The little stinker kept sliding down, but I think it's because she didn't need the blanket to help her sit up anymore...a little bitter sweet moment.

She is always such a happy girl

Look at those legs :)

The reason I breathe

Showing off her belly

Here are some updates on Paislee at 3 Months.

* Weighs 13.5 pounds, Dr. Allred said she puts on weight like a champ.

* She has developed a bit of acid reflux so she is taking a little bit of rice cereal to help keep her food down.

* Starting to roll over on her side, and enjoys tummy time for a few minutes but then gets really mad after she is ready to be done.

* Holding her head up really good, and standing up (with help of course) her legs are getting strong.

* Paislee is SO NOSEY, her new nickname is "Nosey Rosey" because she loves to people watch and fights sleep because she is worried she might miss something. Just like Mommy everyone says :)

* Loves to watch T.V. and be outside, she could do either for hours. She will not eat most times unless she is able to watch T.V. at the same time (were in trouble I know).

* Grabbing and chewing her toys, and blowing spit bubbles all over all of the time.

* Talking, Giggling, and Smiling all of the time. I tell her she is a ham because when anyone tells her she is cute, beautiful etc. she just smiles and flirts.

* She is very smart and has figured out how to let Mommy put her in our bed to snuggle, she loves to snuggle.

* Loves to bath and swim, she is such a water baby.

Thanks for a wonderful 3 months baby girl you are our life and Mommy and Daddy love you so very much! We can't wait for each new chapter in your life and to watch you grow.

From day one I have been telling my Mom "this is my favorite stage" but I find I keep saying that with each new thing she learns. I miss my newborn but I love where she is now and her personality shining through. Being Paislee's mom is truley the best part of my life!

Where Did You Get Those Blue Eyes

2011-08-12T08:27:00.007-06:00

The answer is Miss Paislee got these beautiful blue eyes from her Uncle Cam and her Grammie. I couldn't help but notice how blue her eyes have gotten until she was in this blue outfit the other day. I may be bias because she is my daughter but I think they are absolutely STUNNING! She looks so much like her Uncle Cam and Grammie it's kinda scary, but I won't lie I love looking in those eyes and seeing my brother. I know he wanted her to look just like him because he loves his niece so much and I just know she is his prodigy.

On another note...

I snapped these pictures on my phone at 3 a.m. today. I heard Pais sucking and it woke me up and this is how I found her, sucking that little thumb so hard I thought she would suck it right off! I was so happy because it was the cutest thing to me (even though daddy says were in trouble) I woke him up to witness this cute act as well :) She is just like mommy, I was quite the thumb sucker myself.

AND....

I can't believe it but next week my baby girl will 3 months old. Time has flown by since she came into this world. Looking at these pictures gives me a bitter sweet feeling, I miss this tiny little newborn and wish I could keep her little forever but I am enjoying every single minute of watching her grow and learn new things. She makes life SO MUCH FUN!

Right after birth

Going home in her princess outfit.

Just finished eating and looking at mommy.

...THIS BLOG...

2011-08-08T11:30:00.004-06:00

Is about to get a whole lot better!

Friday I got an itch to get a new camera. Well I had been wanting a new one for awhile but decided we needed a video camera more with a little one at home. I was supposed to get one for my birthday but we got busy, I was 37 weeks pregnant and miserable so I never felt like going to pick something out, then a week later we became parents and had our little princess so that has kept us busy since then.

ANYWAYS...

Friday I couldn't take it any longer, I gave my husband a little guilt trip about needing my birthday present this year and pleaded my case. To my surprise (well actually it wasn't a surprise, my husband pretty much lets me get just about everything I ask for) he said yes and I started researching and asking around and finally ended up settling on this beauty.

A Canon Rebel T3

It even came with an extra lense, it also will shoot video in HD so I got two new toys in one. I played with it a little this weekend and have already fallen in love it is so fast and takes awesome pictures. I will put some on here soon, mostly pictures of our baby girl of course.

Now that I mentioned my husband letting me get new things, I might as well share this as well. I got a new car...a Ford Escape (See Below)

Mine isn't black it's a dark grey but it is perfect and I am so in love. It has a sunroof, keyless entry, good cup holders, awesome AC and the new Microsoft Sync system so I can answer my phone with just a simple button on my steering wheel and control my ipod on my steering wheel as well, all the must haves in a vehicle as far as I am concerned. I will admit as much as I love our new car it was hard to get rid of my Mazda 6 I have LOVED that car and would not hesitate purchasing a new one...but Paislee's stroller took up the entire trunk and her carseat pretty much took up the entire back seat so I needed a little more room for us but needed something that wasn't a gas hog since I work in Salt Lake, so this works out PERFECT.

On a small side note, my parents ended up buying my Mazda

so I still get to see her so our split hasn't been to bad :)

But that is all my new stuff for now, I am still working on my husband for new carpet in the house, I can't wait to do a post on that someday!

Paislee's Weekly Pictures

2011-07-12T16:39:00.006-06:00

So I have seen a few different people do this and knew instantly that I wanted to do it for my babies one day. I have been taking a picture of Paislee next to her bear that she (well mostly my Mom, Me, Gaige, and my Grandma) built at Build-A-Bear once a week so we can see how much she grows being next to it. I am a bit behind in posting so you get a catch up post here. This week (8 weeks) will be the last weekly picture then we will be moving onto monthly pics. It's so fun to watch her grow, it's bitter sweet for me I love seeing her grow and develop and I LOVE her little personality but it makes me sad because I wish I could keep her little and be my little snuggle bug FOREVER...

Enjoy

4 weeks

5 weeks

she looks like she is thinking "really mom?"

6 weeks...now this was my favorite becauase she found her personality this week and was all giggles during our shoot

I was telling her she is the prettiest girl in the world and she would just smile

even though she is falling over I am so in LOVE with this picture

7 weeks smiling again but not at me she loves her mobile in her crib

sweet girl

Also today is Paislee's 8 week birthday! It also marks the best 8 weeks of my life!

Behind

2011-07-10T16:52:00.002-06:00

I am so behind on blog updates it's sad but I promise starting tomorrow I am going to be better. Life is just to busy and fun with a baby to worry about a blog, I just want to spend all day and night loving and kissing our baby girl. I know this post is boring but prepared for a major picture overload soon!

Until then I will leave you with this...

Our little cutie on her first 4th of July!

...Paislee's Birth Story...

2011-06-08T14:17:00.003-06:00

paislee cam hammon

wednesday...may 18, 2011
6:56 am
7 pounds 10 ounces
20 1/2 inches

it all started on tuesday... may 17, 2011 my mom and i went to my doctors appointment with doctor bierer, we were so anxious because he had told us that if she wasn't here by tuesday he would start me the following day so when he came in and told me that the hospital was booked for wednesday and i could either get started that night or wait until thursday, i don't think that he finished his sentence before i was saying oh i will go tonight for sure :)! he said ok be to the hospital by 6 it was 4:30 so we had to hurry. i called dustin and he was still at work so i told him you better get your butt home now because we have to be to the hospital by 6 because were having a baby tonight. i was so excited we hurried back to my moms so we could get my car and then headed to my house to get dustin and our packed bag (which was ready to go already).

we got to the hospital and i told my mom and dustin it feels so good going in here knowing they can't send me home lol (i had been in the hospital twice to stop my labor at this point) i will never forget my mom and dustin asking me over and over "are you nervous yet?" and everytime the answer was "no" i don't know why but i really wasn't, just so anxious to have my baby girl. when we got into my room i got changed and the nurse came into check me and i had went from a 3 to 4 just since we left the doctors office so she called him right then to come break my water, we were all thinking oh wow this might go by pretty quick (even the nurse) she was determined to deliver our baby because she ended up knowing dustin's and my parents both...small world. my doctor got there and broke my water and almost immediatley my contractions started coming quicker and a lot harder, what a weird feeling too...everytime i moved an inch water came out and felt like i was peeing my pants and ya just lay there. the nurse came back checked again and i was at a 5 so she was like we better have ya go to the bathroom so you are ready so i did...and when i got back into to bed i decided i was so ready for my epidural (i don't know how anyone gives birth naturally, i acutally facebooked right after that i could kiss whoever invented the epidural) i hate needles so i was a little nervous but when i was sitting there with my mom and aunt rox they kept telling me it really is not that bad (dustin HATES needles so he made sure my mom could be there with me cause he couldn't lol) i was hunched over and holding my mom and roxanne's hand when he started and i had a contraction while he was doing my epidural so all i remember is the contraction pain, i really didn't think the epidural hurt at all.

so now we all just waited...dustin, my parents, rox, dustin's parents and his brother, and of course my brother was there with us too. i kept progressing quickly and was at a 9 by 1:00 am but thats when it all slowed i was dialated to a 10 on one side but had a small "lip" on the other so we had to wait to push...i stayed that way for 4 long hours they even had to come and numb me some more. my poor nurse had shift change and she was unable to deliver paislee i was sad but i LOVED the next nurse she came in at 5:30ish and checked me, i was starting to feel pressure at this point as well and she said i think your a 10 and ready to push, i could have kissed her! so we started and i pushed for about and hour and a half before our little princess made her appearance at 6:56 am. i will never forget that moment, seeing her for the first time changed my life forever and i have never loved someone more in my life instantly. i never thought that i could love her more than i did when i found out i was pregnant but my heart grew when i seen her beautiful face. being a mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me i love my little paislee and dustin with everything that i am and it's amazing to me how instantly, we could never imagine life without her.

i will admit i miss this whole experience already, i am so glad that paislee is here but all the excitement and emotions that day were so fun and have given me memories that i will cherish forever. and i am so grateful to my brother for blessing us with a beautiful and healthy baby girl. she will love her name and i can't wait to tell her all about how special she is and who she is named after, she will be honored i am sure.

mommy and daddy love you little miss paislee cam hammon

...i am not a patient person...

2011-05-16T09:50:00.003-06:00

i am so very impatient, especially when it comes to this little beautyour chubby little sumo at 37 weeks

i went to the doctor last wednesday, and he stripped my membranes and made my almost 3 centimeters, definitely a 3 and 75% thinned...can you so OUCH! (sorry if that is tmi). he also had me move my appointment to tuesday and said if she isn't here by then they will check me and schedule me to be induced on wednesday, may 18th. i could have kissed him, i have been having painful contractions for weeks, she weighs 7lbs. 4 ounces already and dr. b said there really is not anymore room for her to grow and he is concerned with my swelling...so i will be having here exactally on her 38 week birthday :) so you would think after being pregnant this long 7 days would not be to much to wait for her arrival but we are all on edge and so anxious for her.

now that it is monday and i have 2 days (or possibly less) of waiting it still feels like time is standing still. i will keep everyone updated when she finally makes her arrival.

...purses & bags...

2011-03-14T10:24:00.003-06:00

some girls have a love for shoes, jeans, shirts, or jewelry. and those of you that know me and know me well know that my heart belongs to...

purses

my obsession started long ago, and hasn't eased up since. it probably has actually gotten worse. my basement and bedroom are chuck full of name brand purses everywhere and i can't seem to part with them because they are all new. really though i bet a change purses every couple months.

it drives my husband crazy and he used to get after me about it because i don't have any buyers remorse in paying a lot of money for a good purse, i think he has given up on me.

have you ever seen confessions of a shopaholic?...

when the girl sees the scarf at the store that talks to her...my mom and and i both agreed at the same time that is totally me!

anyways...

the point to my story is that i feel a good bag is esstenial for EVERY girl so as i have been shopping for a diaper bag for our little princess, there has been no exception to this rule. a couple months ago i found the bag that i was head over heels for but held off because i knew my husband wouldn't go for a $170.00 diaper bag.

so i have been trying to find something more reasonable, and i really have but i am not in love with anything else, this bag had stolen my heart.

so saturday i went & purchased this beauty

this is my baby girls petunia pickle bottom, we will be packin diapers and other things for her in style!

did i also mention i got 20% off

i am so excited to use this when my baby girl is here...we will forever be fans of petunia pickle bottom and i know she will just love it!

...my valentine...

2011-02-16T11:09:00.002-07:00

this year my sweet valentine suprised me with these,

he had my very favorites...tulips delivered to my work!

i was so suprised and it made me cry, and my mom as well. i felt so special.

he is so sweet & thoughtful

i got dustin...

some candy, gum, his favorite pen, and a gift card to wild arrow (this is his new favorite place lately, him and my dad go there once or twice a week to shoot their new bows)

he was pretty happy.

since valentines was on a monday and i don't usually get home from work until 6:30 we decided to just stay in. dustin went & got us some take out from wingers while i took a warm bath, it was lovely.

hope everyone else had a good love day too!

...reminiscing...

2011-02-10T11:07:00.003-07:00

so this morning i was looking at the pictures on my facebook page, and when i came across this one i got tears in my eyes. its amazing how much this simple picture means to me, how it started a new chapter in our lives, and has made me feel a love that i could never put into words. i will never forget seeing this and running downstairs and yelling telling Dustin "i am pregnant already!" and him saying "no way, this is so awesome." Then calling my mom totally out of breath telling her and my dad that we were going to have a baby! What a wonderful memory that i will cherish forever.

i just loved all the emotions this picture brings so i had to share.

on another note...

this is my dear sweet lab, jax. who by the way is much bigger now, i need to get an updated picture of him now that he weighs 70-75 lbs.

This morning i heard mr. jax in the bath tub in the other bathroom as i was getting ready for work, i ignored it because he for some reason loves to climb in the tub and just sit there. well i really should have checked on him, and i feel like a terrible mother now...when i came out of the bathroom jax was walking around with my razor sticking out of his mouth. i panicked and hurried to get it out of his mouth and hoped in the back of my mind the end with the blades would still be attached. no my extreme disappointment it was gone!

i ran through the whole house looking for the other end praying that he did not swallow the blades and had no luck. his vet didn't open until 8 and it was about 6:30 so i called my mom to tell her i wouldn't be into work until later because i was going to have to take jax to the vet as soon as they opened. she got on google and read that i should feed him bread so he ate 7 rolls this morning. after that i checked for cuts in his mouth...luckily there were none and now i just had to wait for the vet. i decided to pick up the house a bit and as i was moving jax's bed in my room guess what was lying underneath it?...

yes! the other half of my razor, all blades attached so he hadn't swallowed them!

i was so happy, i had been stressed and crying all morning because this whole mess was all my fault. i am most grateful for my brother who is also the best guardian angel i could ask for because i know he had a hand in saving jax and i. we love him so much.

so tonight i am going to stop at sam's club on the way home and get my pups their favorite toy, some raw hide bones, i have been out and can't help but think if jax would have had one to chew he wouldn't have went looking for something else.

and of course jax & i are going to have a little talk so that he doesn't think 7 rolls is a reward for eating the razor.

...have you ever seen the most beautiful girl in the world?...

2011-02-01T09:13:00.005-07:00

in case you haven't, i will be kind enough to show you what she looks like. Here is our little princess at 22 weeks and 5 days.

she is healthy and the ultrasound tech said everything looks GREAT, which i can never hear enough.

it is crazy to think that this little beauty will be here with us in just 4 short months. i am so excited to meet her. she is already everything to me and words cannot describe how much her daddy and i love her, and her grandparents of course my parents are so excited for her!

she has cam's little button nose, very fitting since he sent her to us and she will be named after him
sucking her thumb just like her mommy, we had a hard time getting a good profile picture
she is so stinking cute

i can't wait until we get to kiss this little face

yep...she is still a girl

flexible little thing, and her cute profile waving to her mommy...im sure

the tech was shocked at how tone her legs looked, she said she must be working out in there and kicking mommy...she was right :)

we also had amanda's shower this last saturday and it was so much fun, i am so excited for her & tyler's little girl to get here in just a few short weeks. i just know our little girls will be the best of friends and it will be so much fun watching them grow up together.

p.s. is anyone else excited for spring to get here? i am, mostly because that is when our baby will be here but i am sick of the freezing cold and i really am itching to get out in my yard and get it looking nice.

...IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING...

2011-01-14T09:35:00.002-07:00

This is what my daughter & I look like 20 weeks pregnant, she is adorable not doubt about it, but me I am not sure about. We did take this pic really early before work so I wasn't quite awake.

February 1st we do our targeted ultrasound so we get to see our beautiful girl in 3D and I can't even wait. Our last appointment was a week ago and she was weighing in at a hefty 3/4 of a pound and doctor said she has a healthy heart and everything looked great! I really hope the second half of my pregnancy flys by I am so excited to meet our princess.

We are so grateful for this blessing in our lives, there truely is no stronger love you can feel than the love you feel for your child and I am still pregnant so I can't even imagine how that love grows when your baby is here. She truely is the greatest gift my brother could have ever sent to us and I feel so blessed to have her. Everyone is so excited for her, and even though she could NEVER replace Cameron in our lives, she will be a tiny piece of him back with us just knowing he sent her. Trust me I know because I am the lucky one of the bunch and Cam showed me our princess MONTHS before I got pregnant to let me know she was ready! Thank you baby brother and...

Happy 16th Birthday on January 12th!

we love & miss you so much.

...CHRISTMAS...

2010-12-27T13:12:00.005-07:00

Wow
I am such a blog slacker...

Well Christmas for us came and left and it was a good Christmas. I am so grateful to have been able spend it with my husband & family. But really I am not a huge fan of Christmas, it is to much stress and commercialized I feel like no body really remembers why we celebrate it, all we worry about is what were getting everyone and how much your spending.

and...

Of course it makes me miss my baby brother more than I do on my day to day basis, so it was nice but I won't lie and because I am happy it's over.

but it gets worse...

I have zero yes zero pictures from Christmas this year, we were so busy I totally forgot about my camera, were awful. But really we opened our gifts and all either one of us could talk about is how much more fun next Christmas will be when our little princess is here. She consumes our lives and everyone else's in the family already (she might be a little bit spoiled when she gets here haha).

As far as the pregnancy goes...things are going great!

I am really starting to feel great, my being sick comes and goes now instead of being so constant. But exhaustion is in full swing, I could sleep for days and it wouldn't be enough. And I "think" I am starting to feel our little princess moving around in my belly, I am pretty sure it's her, but it's so hard to tell when your body goes through so many changes to know exactly what it feels like. So I can't wait until she really starts using me as a kicking/punching bag so that Dustin can feel it too. Speaking of Dustin now that I have a baby bump he is constantly rubbing my belly or just touching it and it seriously is the cutest thing ever, he is so excited for his baby girl! I felt so much closer to Dustin when we got married and never thought I could love him more but since the day we found out we were adding to our family it has only brought us closer and our love stronger I honestly couldn't imagine doing this with anyone but him. And it excites me to think our love will continue to grow, as we grow together.

Here are a few pics from our last appointment I will have more next week when we go back...

...so blessed...

2010-11-11T08:33:00.003-07:00

i am so blessed to have this little angel growing inside of me

we went to the doctor yesterday, and baby is healthy and the perfect size for 11 weeks. i could watch our baby on an ultrasound all day, i love my little peanut so much.

and...

we got to peak between the baby's legs, and the doctor said even though it is still really early he is 90% sure of what we are having.

but i am keeping my mouth shut for a bit...

feel free to comment and take a guess :)

...Am I Crazy?...

2010-10-27T14:08:00.003-06:00

So last night as I was changing into my pj's I looked in the mirror like I do sometimes, and tried to suck my pooch in and to my suprise...

It wouldn't suck in like it always does!

Now here is my dilemma...

I will admit I had a pooch before I got pregnant, little bit of chunk.

but

I could always suck it in and I would get to imagine how my body would look it I went on a diet and lost it. I thought maybe I have put on weight and that is why it wants to poke out but that isn't it, I think I weigh less now because I have been so sick and don't eat much.

I am either bloated

Showing at 9 weeks

I did some research and many women say they started showing as early as 8 weeks with their first and 5 with their second! They say it is possible it just all depends on your body and where you are carrying the baby.

Apparently if you show early you are carrying it up front, and will get really big.

Lucky Me

So has anyone else experienced this, am I bloating or showing?

...I Have Been...

2010-10-15T10:00:00.003-06:00

So horrible and keeping this thing updated...

but I have had a tiny excuse

Us Hammon's are expecting!

I took one of these

Then took two more to be sure
Then took another just to be sure

So my excuse is my...Morning, Noon, and Evening Sickness.

But it has all been worth it, and will continue to be worth it.
I haven't felt much like blogging since I found out because it is the most exciting thing for us right now and I couldn't share it, acutally I was going to wait until I was further along to spill the beans but it was killing me!
and
being sick all the time can wear a girl out (and my husband I am sure) bless his little heart.

I went to the doctor yesterday and got to see our little peanut and got to hear the little peanut's heart beat...It is a feeling only a mother can relate too. It got me emotional and my mother of course, it's amazing how you can instantly love something so much so quickly! This little baby is so very special to us... My baby brother has been keeping the peanut safe for us until it was time for us to have it. It is very special to me in so many different ways. I am so thankful and so blessed that Heavenly Father has given me this opportunity and is trusting me to take care of this little angel.

so....

I am due June 1, 2011 and I am currently 7 weeks and 1day along.

Life is good!

...i can't wait...

2010-09-24T14:31:00.004-06:00

for this day to be over

i want to start celebrating our 1 year anniversary weekend asap!

tomorrow we are going to dinner, hopefully maddox then we are headed off to a pretty drive to logan to stay at the anniversary inn. i hope my husband doesn't forget i am there since i am the sweetest girl alive and booked him a room with a putting green. so i am going to bring my book just in case i need a nice bath while i wait.

our acutal anniversary is

september 26th

so we will be spending it on our couch in jammies watching football in our cozy home with our babies. can you think of anything better...

life is perfect, i am a happy girl!

everyone have a great weekend, hopefully i will have some fun pics to post monday.

until then here are a few from our wedding, i always post the posed pics not the awesome action shots. i had the best photographers.

getting ready to say i do
mr. & mrs. hammon

signing the marriage license

now dustin's turn

cake time, he was sweet and didn't smash it in my face, of course i wasn't so nice. (btw our cake was DELICIOUS i wish i would have gotten the number for the lady who made it.

our first dance ever

leaving our reception

by our awsome limo

inside the limo

and so they lived happily ever after...

...mrs. hammon...

2010-09-16T08:45:00.003-06:00

just in case you forgot, in just 10 short days. i will be able to say that i have been

mrs. hammon

for an entire year.

i can't believe it has been a whole year, it seems like our wedding was just yesterday. i love mr. hammon so much!

...my sad day...

2010-09-13T10:39:00.003-06:00

so friday night i was a mess and couldn't stop thinking about how horrible the next day would be for me and my family. in case you never read my depressing and sad blog posts (sorry i don't mean to be a debbie downer but i can't get around it for what my family and i are going through)

we lost my dear sweet brother on september 11, 2008

and it has shaken my family to the core. i used to think his birthday would be the hardest day but let me just tell you on top of the everyday sadness the anniversary date is the worst by far. there is nothing to celebrate that day other than remembering the horrible things that happened that day.

warning this may get graphic and detailed but i want it to be "raw" so to speak because one thing my family has taken from this is our views on life and how people say all the time to cherish every minute that you have with loved ones, and that family should always come first, but as awful as it is i don't think that anyone can quite grasp this concept until someone is taken from you but i know my brother would want us to share his story so that everyone can learn from it, not just us.

my brother went to the doctor after being sick on August 24th 2008. they thought he had a serious case of pnemoniua but we would spend the next 2 1/2 weeks at Primary Childrens going through a "living hell" that i wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. such a sad place to be seeing your loved one suffer and also so many sick kids.

cam was diagnosed with microscopic polyangitis, a vasculitis auto immune disease. this was beyond rare, auto immune diseases usually affect woman and is even more rare in children. with this disease cam's body would attack itself instead of fighting off sickness, in his case it would cause his blood vessels to swell and seep blood. this caused his lungs to fill with blood to the point where he could not breathe on his own and was put on life support.

i will never forget the day that cam came out of his induced coma a bit to be able to communicate to us before he passed, he had a tube in his mouth so he couldnt talk but we could ask him questions and he would respond by raising an eye brow once or twice, although he kept trying to talk and i would give anything to know what he was trying to tell us (i have my assumptions as to what that is).

the night we lost cam is seared into my brain forever, i have nightmares about it. watching someone you love and someone you grew up protecting die right before you is beyond traumatizing. i will never forget falling and hitting my head and screaming and throwing my shoes down the hall or having to call dustin to tell him the news. it is so bad i can't even drive up 4th south in salt lake or i feel like i will throw up. i will never get used to him not being here in person but i find peace knowing he is with me and i have my very own guardian angel.

so on this day for the rest of my life i will cry and be and emotional wreck. but i am so grateful to have my husband there for me and my parents, i seriously do not know what i would do without them. they mean everything in the world to me. this all has given me a new appreciation for the gospel and the church, if it weren't for faith in knowing we are an enternal family and will be together again some day i wouldn't be able to get out of bed each day. and knowing how blessed we are that heavenly father trusted our family with such a sweet and special spirit that he did all he came here to do in 13 short years, and heavenly father had bigger and better plans that he needed cam for back home.

we took cam flowers as a family and then went to eat cam's favorite food that night...steak of course. it was nice being with the people i love and remembering cam.

i have always been extremely close to my family, which is something i cherish everyday especially not having any regrets with cam's passing. there are no should have or could have's because we did everything together! i know my friends get frustrated with me because dustin and i don't come around or go out as much as we used too, but it's because i always want to be with him and my parents, i have severe anxiety that it might be my last opportunity and i don't want to miss a single minute. but i hope you all know that i do still love ya, but please be patient

with me until i can semi function on a normal level. (:

sorry for the sad sad post, but it did have a purpose. it is my hope that after reading our story you will all cherish every minute with your loved ones and as awful as it sounds really consider your life without them here. don't sweat the small stuff it is small for a reason. money and materialistic things are not anything to get upset over, i really could live in my 18 foot trailer with my husband, parents, and our 6 dogs and be as happy as ever. you don't bring anything here and you really can't take anything back so live life to the fullest and have fun!

thanks for reading our blog!

...Happy Happy Birthday...

2010-09-08T11:22:00.006-06:00

On this day, 24 years ago...

Dustin Daniel Hammon

Graced the world with his presence.

and...

I am so glad he did. I really couldn't have found a better match for myself and to think that our lives are pre-ordained and he is my soul mate makes looking at these pictures so crazy to me. Heavenly Father knew that this tiny little baby would be the love of my life, my best friend and my rock.

Here are some pics of my sweet husband as he has grown up...

Precious baby boy
Stunna shades
Cutest little football player

Stud in his high school days

my sexy cowboy... he hates this pic

such a handsome man

and now my husband

Happy Birthday to my best friend and the love of my life!

...WHAT A WEEKEND...

2010-09-07T08:53:00.003-06:00

WHEW!

What a busy and fun weekend we had. We started it off right on Friday by going to the Syracuse Titan's football game, which they won and totally kicked butt. Then Saturday it was more football with my cute cousin Hadyn's game and they won too! Then my dad helps couch the little 8 year old team with a friend and they won! We also headed out to Uinta Golf to birthday shop for Dustin, man he was like me in Buckle in that store. It made me so happy to see how excited he was there so I being the gift lover I am talked him into getting a new putter which cost us $250.00 and a new wedge that was $130.00 not to mention my mom got him a rescue club that was $100.00 and I have already spent $100.00 on Gator Gear for him, so needless to say he made out pretty well for his birthday and anniversary gift (which is in just a few short weeks, I can't believe it has been a year and I can't wait for a little get away).

Sunday my Mom and I canned all day...Seriously from 8 to 10 and we didn't stop all day. It was exhausting but we made tons of yummy salsa and tomatos.

Then yesterday my Mom and I Cricuted for a few hours and I made the Cutest card and birthday decorations for Dustin and Hadyn. And then we went to Tepanyaki with my in-laws and parents for Dustin's birthday dinner.

Today...Is my cousin Hadyn's Birthday. Happy Birthday Hadyn, I can't wait to give you your gift later!

and...

Tomorrow...Is my Sweet Husband's Birthday. I can't wait to decorate and give him more gifts.

...MAD...

2010-08-25T16:28:00.003-06:00

So I was going to do a new post on here, but I just spent FOREVER trying to figure out how to change my title font to something cute like everyone has and it didn't work...TWICE so I am mad and done for the day so maybe tomorrow. As for all you cute font people, want to come over and do mine?

...GIRLS NIGHT OUT...

2010-08-09T13:25:00.002-06:00

So Saturday we got to celebrate Natalie's last girls night out as an un-married woman! We had so much fun, we started off going to dinner then back to Christine's for some drinks and a games (GO TEAM 2! We did win BTW) after that we headed to the Outlaw for more drinks and dancing. After we were done at the bar some of the girls decided that it would be funny to head over to Club Wet where some of the boys were...well we went and it was my first experience at a strip club and I can say I wasn't impressed and won't be going back any time soon haha. The best part of this story is all of the boys went to dinner and were going to the strip club after, well my sweet husband knows that I am not to hip on the idea of him going so he just go's to dinner and catches crap from the boys about not going to the strip club (he has done this for the 2nd bachelor party now) well my hubby was going to pick me up when I was ready to come home and he was expecting to pick me up at Shi's so when I told him he I was ready to leave and I had to tell him that I was at Club Wet (the exact place I told him he couldn't go) it was pretty funny and he loved giving me crap about it!

Don't mind my sweaty hair haha we danced all night, and my wanted sticker on my boob. Hey it was a bachlorette party we do crazy things and have a great time! CONGRATS Nat & Kody I love you guys and can't wait for you guys to get married. I love our group of friends!

...WHAT'S ON MY MIND

2010-07-16T08:14:00.002-06:00

This is what is on my mind...kinda sad but the words describe how I feel so well it's comforting.

Who You'd Be Today-Kenny Chesney

Sunny days seem to hurt the most

I wear the pain like a heavy coat

I feel you everywhere I go

I see your smile, I see your face

I hear you laughin' in the rain

I still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair: you died too young

Like the story that had just begun

But death tore the pages all away

God knows how I miss you

All the hell that I've been through

Just knowin' no-one could take your place

And sometimes I wonder

Who you'd be today?

Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?

Settle down with a family

I wonder what would you name your babies?

Some days the sky's so blue

I feel like I can talk to you

And I know it might sound crazy

It ain't fair: you died too young

Like the story that had just begun

But death tore the pages all away

God knows how I miss you

All the hell that I've been through

Just knowin' no-one could take your place

And sometimes I wonder

Who you'd be today

Today....

Today...

Sunny days seem to hurt the most

I wear the pain like a heavy coat

The only thing that gives me hope

Is I know I'll see you again some day

Some Day...

I love you baby brother, forever and always!

...SUMMER SO FAR....

2010-07-13T09:34:00.002-06:00

I seriously can't believe how fast the summer is FLYING by...June has come and gone and I didn't even have a single post! We are back home for our wonderful vacation...well been back for a month but I am a little behind...ok alot behind haha. We had an amazing time together, it was so nice spending an entire week with my husband without any interuptions in our way just relaxing and FUN. I cannot wait until be go again in 2 years (his family does a big vaca every other year) I think our top 3 destinations for next time are Costa Rica, St. Lucia, or Aruba. I am so glad I decided to go, as most of you know I was terrifed to begin with and to top it off we were flying out Friday and on Monday the riots and craziness in Jamaica was ALL over the news and I was seriously considering staying home, but I decided to go and I am so glad I did. The resort made us feel very safe and we didn't even have to think about what was going on, on the other side of the island. Here are just a handful of pictures, we took a TON so you will have to get on my facebook page to check the rest out....

And last but most definetly not least!...

Meet our new baby JAX.

This is the newest member of our family, our yellow lab Jax. Yes now I know I am crazy for having 3 dogs but I couldn't help myself. I grew up having nothing but labs and they seriously are the BEST dogs ever, I love my weenie and beagle but the lab breed is by far my fav. So here is Jax's story...

So I decided I wanted a lab so I started searching KSL well I found Mr. Jax's litter and fell in love instantly, his dad is beautiful and the "ideal" looking lab to me so I had to have a pup. I called the owners and she told me they wouldn't be ready until we got from our trip (which was perfect) and that they only had one yellow male so if I wanted him I better come put a deposit down. Dustin said no more than a million times so I let it go...Until my mom and I went to sportsmans before Father's Day to get some gifts and guess who was there! Yes you guessed it...Jax's litter was there and it was fate. I bought him and surprised Dustin with him (:

Leaving Atlanta headed to Jamaica, don't judge us we left at midnight and had just flown 4 hours!

Flying into Jamaica

On the bus ride headed to the resort

We found this amusing...dial 119 for police (:

The house that looked like a boat

We could throw a rock in the Ocean from our room, and had steps to walk right out there

My very FIRST time in the ocean

We had an AWESOME view

View off from our room

Beautiful Lion Fish, but they can kill ya!

Names in the sand

Our MOST favorite person in Jamaica, one of our waiters Romano, he was awesome! He made Dust do this, it doesn't look very nice I know.

We loved all beautiful flowers and plants there

Our first kiss in the rain

P.S. Thanks Denise you are a LIFE SAVER!

...ARE YOU SERIOUS!...

2010-07-12T08:36:00.002-06:00

So I just spent FOREVER updating this and I accidently updated my brothers blog with our stuff! I am so mad and busy so I can't redo it right now. So go to my blog and click on my brother's link under our friends and view it there and then come back and comment on this post haha!

And...

If anyone knows how I can copy and paste it to my blog HELP PLEASE!

Thank you,

...WAY OVERDUE...

2010-05-19T09:17:00.009-06:00

So I know I am a COMPLETE slacker and so behind on my blog, I really don't think that I have ever gone this long. I figured I better get this thing updated because we leave for Jamaica in a week and 2 days so that will put me behind. We haven't been up to much lately just SUPER busy I have a new job at my work so now I am trying to do the new position and my old one as well until they hire someone else so it has been crazy busy and Dust is hating it because I leave at 6 every morning and usually I am not home until 6:30ish at night :( Here are some pics of what us Hammon's have been up to the last few weeks.

We went to the zoo a couple weekends ago and it was so much fun, I love the zoo!

I told Gaige to stick his head in the lions mouth so I can get his picture, because who doesn't have a picture with their head in the lions mouth at the zoo he looked at me like I was crazy and was leary, see his eyes haha!

Then the day after the zoo was my birthday, I woke up to flowers, a balloon, candy, movies, and a precious moment from my sweet hubby that said "I've got extra extra love for you". We relaxed all morning then I got ready only to cry and wash all my make up off so excuse my swollen eyes, birthdays just are not the same without my baby brother here so Dust took me to Wal-Mart to get fresh flowers so we could take them to his grave. Then we headed off to my parents house for a BBQ for my birthday and mothers day it was great she even made my FAV rainbow chip birthday cake! I love my family so much and I am so thankful to have them all!

I realized that I have never really posted pics of my brothers headstone so here it is, it is GORGEOUS and turned out so perfect we couldn't be happier.

And be sure to stay tuned for more pictures of this....

This is mine and Rosko's new bike, complete with a riding basket for my baby boy. We are going to have LOTS of fun adventures.

...LOVE...

2010-04-12T13:16:00.005-06:00

Don't ya think that LOVE is such a crazy but oh so wonderful thing...

Last week me and Dust got into a bit of a fight, well not a bit of a fight this was actually the biggest fight we have ever had in our relationship. I won't go into details but we didn't speak all night and then Dust was going to sleep on the couch. I was crushed but thought it was a bit funny so I went to bed and slammed the bedroom door, I bet he lasted about 30 minutes before he came upstairs. I heard him coming so I hurried and rolled over and pretended to be asleep, he climbed in bed kissed my cheek and told me he loved me and good night. I was so mad and upset but so happy he came back to bed. No matter how mad that boy makes me at times everytime I look at him I can't help but just get over it because I go back to the very first time I ever met him and how I just knew that this was a special one, to the time we had our little "break" and when he called me to come see him I couldn't get to him fast enough, to the first I love you's we exchanged after our first trip together in Vegas, to the time when I needed Dust the most when my brother was in the hospital and passed away, to the beginning of discussing marriage and wanting to spend our lives together, to the night he proposed to me, to the day we said " I do" and now just to simple times like last night watching him work on his truck and then playing in our backyard with the dogs, I fall in love more and more each day. I feel so lucky to have found someone that I can say is the love of my life and my best friend!

...EASTER IN MOAB...

2010-04-06T08:01:00.009-06:00

We spent our Easter in Moab again this year, I am so glad that my family has started to make this a tradition. I love going to visit my grandparents and just getting to visit with them and relax. This year not all of the family went like usual so that made me sad but we still had the BEST time ever together with the group we had.

These are pictures of everyone admiring "The Bronco" at the Jeep Safari Expo thing. I have never seen so many car parts, accesories, Jeeps, Broncos Etc. On Friday we have our girls shopping day so my Mom, Amanda, and I went out and enjoyed a very delicious lunch and had planned on going Moab tshirt shopping after, well the boys called and said come to fairgrounds there are a ton of shirts here so we did and I would say they had a total of 3 shirts...They lied to get us there I guess they thought we might enjoy it. NO WAY! After that the boys headed off to Potato Salad hill and us girls went shopping, Amanda & I both gave our cameras to our hubby's so we don't have any pics of the 3 of us together. It makes me sick when people with brand new vehicles go up this hill and risk rolling it.Rosko not happy....
Mylee not happy....

Zoey not happy...
Cooper not happy...
Mylee all tuckered out after baying at everyone and their dog at Potato Salad Hill, I don't know what got into her she is usually so friendly. I love when she bays at home I think it is the CUTEST thing ever, but not so cute when there are a million people looking at you. As you can see none of the pups enjoyed their experience at Potato Salad.

Headed home on Sunday, yes we are insane and drove with all FOUR dogs in the cab of the truck we are just to soft to stick them in the back in their kennels. I always get so sad when we have to come back home :( See ya next year Jeep Safari, but hopefully we can go back to Moab sooner than that.

...BELIEVE IT OR NOT...

2010-03-29T13:47:00.005-06:00

Yes t day at lunch I went to the distribution center and purchased a new set of these... well I got the quad thing with all of it.I know I am just as shocked myself. Although I have not been on the "right" path for the last several years of my life I have NEVER stopped believing my LDS beliefs. If it was not for the church I don't know how I would get through the loss of my little brother. So last night during one of my emotional break downs I was talking to my mom and all of the sudden I just felt that I needed to get up and go get my scriptures and start right on page 1 of The Book of Mormon, I know without a doubt it was my brother telling me I needed to do this so I am going to do it. I had to get some new ones because in my older age I can't read the super cool tiny ones I had when I was younger, I am getting blind. I believe we are prompted to do these kinds of things so I am going to go with it, I figure it can't hurt me any. I don't know if he wants me to find something in there that will comfort me while dealing with his death or just that I need to do it because I should and I will find a whole lot of comforting things. I am not ready for the whole church thing again but I figure this is a step in the right direction. So thank you to this stud for giving me the push I needed...

And also yesterday was my daddy's 40TH birthday, he has reached that milestone :) I forgot my cable so I will have upload birthday pics tomorrow.

I feel so blessed to have THE BEST DAD EVER, really me and my brother could not ask for a better person to call our Dad. Whether it be packing us in out of the gas station while we were still in car seats just so we could go get a coke with him or laying in bed with us when we were younger until we fell asleep so we weren't scared. My Dad loves us and my mommy unconditonally and I value the close relationship that I have with him. So Happy Birthday Daddy, I know it's still hard to celebrate with Cam gone but he is with us and I hope you had an awesome birthday!

...MUCH NEEDED...

2010-03-11T10:21:00.006-07:00

Ugh! I am in much need of a get away and some vacation time from work. And it looks like I am in LUCK...In just about 2 and a half weeks, I will be at my grandpa's house in Moab with my family. So I will be enjoying this and all that Moab has to offer :) Because I love relaxing, and shopping all day buying cheesy Moab gear!

and...

In about 2 and a half months, I will be enjoying this in Jamaica. Now I will admit that I am TERRIFIED to go because I have never been out of the country and I am scared to do so, but isn't this dreamy.
The water park at our resort, I LOVE water slides.

This will be me and my hubby, yes we will have a balcony and will be staying in the Honeymoon Suite. (for free I might add, well not technically were paying but just got upgraded to the Honeymoon Suite for FREE)

Awe I am getting so excited, this will be my first tropical vacation and I can't wait to share it with my hubby!

...THIS WEEK...

2010-02-22T08:21:00.003-07:00

This week they will be starting our fence, so in about a week I will be able to look out my back door and see this... (I cannot wait, I haven't been this excited since my wedding lol)Also I am very proud to tell everyone that I cleaned my closet and dresser out and got rid of tons of clothes, this is an accomplishment because it is the first time I have done it without my mom asking me too because I am out on my own. I tried doing the if you haven't worn it in 6 months thing then get rid of it but that was a little hard because two people couldnt wear all of my clothes in 6 months time and the sad thing is it is all fairly new thanks to my VISA :( Anyways I did succeed in getting rid of a big garbage bag full of clothes to send to the DI and another bag full of stuff to throw out because I don't send my hammered gross things to the DI. I felt so relieved after doing it that I am making it a goal to de-clutter & organize one thing at a time or just a big cleaning project that I keep putting off (example: cleaning carpets, trimming our bushes & pulling some out etc.) on a weekly basis. HAHAHA lets see how long this lasts, but I am sure going to try!
On another note, this weekend was quite the downer for us. We had two viewings on Friday and two funerals on Saturday. So we ended up going to one viewing on Friday, my sweet Uncle Scott lost his dad this past week. My heart is breaking for him and his family. Then Saturday we went to a dear family friend's funeral, and man was it a tough one to sit through I am pretty sure I cried the entire time. Bonnie was the sweetest woman I knew she would do anything for anyone, she always had a smile on her face and it was contagious you couldn't not be happy when she was around. During the viewing before one of my little flower girls Sadie asked her grandma "why do you have tears?" and then told her "don't cry grandma, her spirit is with us" sweetest thing EVER she is like 3 or 4. From that moment on I don't think I have felt the spirit so strongly in awhile like I did at that funeral, I know my brother was there with us and it was such a great feeling.

...VALENTINES...

2010-02-15T10:34:00.003-07:00

We kept our Valentine's Day pretty low key this year but it was a perfect day! We started the day out with breakfast at Sills with my parents, then we came home and bummed for an hour or so. While we are at home Dust said I am going to go clean up some dog poop while the weather is nice...hmmm WEIRD! Anyways while he was outside I got ready for the movie and when we went out to the car he suprised me with some gorgeous flowers, balloons and a sweet card I was seriously on cloud 9 and I am pretty sure you could not have smacked the smile off of my face. I was so suprised because that is so unlike my hubby to do that and we had agreed we weren't going to do gifts just cards this year because we are paying for the rest of our trip to Jamaica, trying to get a fence, and of course I am shopping my little heart out because we obviously can't go on vacation wearing a single piece of clothing that is nothing but NEW :) Anyways like always we couldn't agree on a movie, I like all girls right now wanted to see Dear John and Dustin wanted to see Book of Eli so we compromised and ended up seeing Wolfman and if you haven't seen it...DON'T is was not good. I told Dust I wanted it to be over so bad like a bad date LOL. After that we came back to the house lounged around and got take out from one of my FAVS Outback. Dustin and I have been dating for going on 4 years now and married for almost 5 months, CRAZY it has been that long it seems like yesterday I was totally crushing on the boy. I had the BEST day with my Valentine that I love oh so very much, and couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else. Thanks for an awesome day babe and I can't wait for many more Valentine's Days together.
P.S. I will have to post some pics later, but I will leave you with this one.

...BLONDIE...

2010-02-10T15:48:00.005-07:00

YES I am so excited...tonight I will be a BLONDIE again. My hair is still blonde now but it has had brown highlights in it for awhile and I have liked them but I miss my platinum blonde hair so much, it is just more me :) Thankfully I have the BEST friend ever that comes and changes my hair all the time even when she does not have too, love ya Kar!

Awe my blonde hair, and my CUTE cousin Gaige.

And the VERY best part of getting my hair done is I get to love on this little stud all night long :) My nephew Krew!

...CONFUSED...

2010-02-02T10:30:00.002-07:00

So I am a wee bit confused this morning, last night when I got home from work Dustin looked and me and said "babe I loaded the dishes for you by the way" and last night I was like oh how sweet because they are usually waiting for me when I get home so it was nice that I didn't have to do them. But this morning I told my Mom why is that men think they have done us a FAVOR by helping out with dishes, laundry, dusting, vacuuming etc. Like they do not benefit from it or that anything related to house work is OUR work? Good thing he is so cute and I love him to pieces so this just makes me laugh :)

...A LITTLE LATE...

2010-01-22T08:57:00.002-07:00

I know I may be a bit behind but I have finally figured out what my goals for this year are going to be...

1. Lose some weight and tone my body (I know what a unique resolution).
2. Acutally use my checkbook register and budget our money, I need to save more.
3. Get organized and stay organized, at home and at work.
4. Get pregnant, YES i have told my hubby I won't wait until next year (and carry and deliver a healthy baby).
5. Cook dinner more for my hubby, I am horrible at this.
6. And last but not least is to try and stay more positive.

I know as the year goes on I will probably be adding more to my list but this is what I am going to start with. Wish me luck!

...ANY IDEAS?...

2010-01-14T16:02:00.003-07:00

Ok so I know this is starting a bit early but that is ok because part of my New Years Resolution this year is to be more organized, that includes buying gifts for Birthdays, Christmas, Valentines, etc. early and not procrastinating and waiting until the last minute to get something. Anyways for Valentines this year I want to do something extra special for Dust because it is our first Valentines in our home and our first as husband and wife, so I want to do something really romantic, unique, and have it be a surprise! So if anyone has any ideas I would really appreciate it!

...HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

2010-01-12T07:59:00.004-07:00

I just want to wish my baby brother a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY today, this little stud would have been 15 today. Cam's birthday is by far the HARDEST day of the year for me because this is his special day and it kills me that he is not here in person for me to spoil like old times. I miss this boy like crazy and I am so thankful for the gospel and knowing that we are sealed as a family for eternity and I will get to be with him again someday. So this year my gift to my brother is going to be a promise that I will try my VERY hardest to keep myself together, can't say I will be able to do it but I am going to try! Love you brother *hugs* & *kisses* from your Sista :)

...NEW YEAR...

2009-12-30T15:27:00.003-07:00

Ok so I know I have been slacking on my posts so here is one, but I am going to warn you it might be a downer because I am just in a downer kind of mood lately so read at your own risk :) Well Christmas came and went, and it was good but I am glad it is over to be honest, it is just hard for me to be happy around the holidays I am tired of it being so commercialized and all about gifts so that so many of us forget what Christmas is all about. And I am not ready to start a new year I honestly wish I could go back a few years and stay there FOREVER (with the exceptions of being married to Dust and my sweet girl Mylee) but then at the same time I am glad to see 2009 be in the past, it was an emotional rollercaoster for my family and so many 1st's (as in Cam's 1st birthday since his death, the 1st New Years Eve, 1st Easter, 1st time celebrating my birthday without him since he was born, 1st Memorial Day and so on) it made it a rough year and they say time will heal and I am hoping it does I know it will never take the pain away or make us forget but hopefully it will get easier. We had to watch our BEST FRIENDS that are more family bury their young son and that tore me apart for them to feel that pain I know oh so well and seeing them suffer is so hard. We also lost my Great Grandma Tice ironically exactly one year to the day that my other Great Grandma died last year. But 2009 also had its ups I married my best friend and the love of my life and we bought our first home together. I feel like throughout the past year my relationships with my husband, parents and family have become stronger and I am so grateful to have them in my life. I still need to decide what my New Year's Resolution is going to be (I am thinking to lose some weight and be more positive). I want to say thanks to all my family and friends who have been there for us this year through the happy and sad times, and to all my blogging friends that leave me sweet comments and want to know what is going on in our lives. I hope that everyone has a FUN and SAFE New Years! :)

mY sWeeT hUbbY...

2009-12-14T11:59:00.002-07:00

Ok so I have to give a little shout out to my hubby. Friday night I came home from work and felt so sick so I layed on the couch with my babies and just watched TV, well I must have fallen asleep and when I woke up Dustin was up in the kitchen making noise, I asked him "what are you doing babe?" and he said "just making us some dinner". Now this is no ordinary thing, Dust does not cook AT ALL and has never made dinner so I was completely shocked and thought it was so cute and thoughtful of him. He had planned on making mac and cheese with little weenies cut up in it but he forgot to make sure we had sauce, which we didn't so he made garlic alfredo sauce with little weenies, quite the combo I must say LOL but I was so excited I didn't even care I ate it with a smile on my face :) and I didn't even mind the mess he left that I picked up later. I still am so impressed that he didn't over cook the noodles, first his first meal I think that is pretty good! I love my hubby so very much and I am so grateful that I get to come home to him every night! Thanks for the first dinner babe and hopefully there will be many more to come.

BaBy BuG...

2009-12-07T09:20:00.003-07:00

Ok so this blog post is going to get a little personal for me but I need some help. As a woman what do you do when you are more than ready for a baby but your husband is not jumping on board with it? I feel like being a woman getting preggers is such an amazing thing to be able to carry a life that you created in you and when you are ready for it but your hubby isn't it is a VERY emotional thing, trust me I am in the middle of it now. I have been ready for months but agreed to hold off until after our vacation to Jamaica in May of next year but here is where it gets a little personal for me. As you all know I lost my little brother a year ago and he visits me often in my dreams, well for about a month now every time he comes I have been telling my mom I think he is trying to tell me our baby is ready, so I just played it off but a couple weeks ago he came again and the message was very clear he brought a baby girl to me and she was mine! So now this baby thing has become such a MUST for me and after having my brother tell me it is time I feel like I can't wait any longer and in my heart it is just what I am ready for at this point in my life. It has made me emotional and I cry about it all the time, the combination of wanting it to begin with and now having my brother tell me it is time is becoming unbearable not to get prego. So here is the million dollar question how can I make my hubby see why this is so important to me cause trust me I have tried and is it selfish for him to be holding me back or me pressuring him into it! UGH so frustrating! :(

TeAm JaCoB...

2009-11-23T08:11:00.004-07:00

So we went and saw New Moon on Friday and yes when I say WE I mean Dustin & I. I drug him to the movie along with my Mom and Dad, I loved it I can't wait to see it again! And even though my Mom loves to rub it in my face I have switched teams...I am in love with Jacob he is so SEXY and he is so SWEET ugh I just fell in love with him :) Honestly how can you not, girls if you are still in love with Edward after seeing Jacob I think you need to have your head checked!

Mmmmm

Sorry Rob your just not doing it for me either...

Oh and P.S. I am really starting to dislike Bella who is she to play these two against each other like she is some prize! Not to mention she totally led Jacob along and used him as her fill in for someone who left her, I need to get a Team Bella Sucks shirt!

...HaLLoWeeN...

2009-11-03T08:33:00.003-07:00

I love Halloween it is by far my FAV! So I still shocked at myself for not dressing up this year, I had planned on it of course but Cam's old football team made it to the mini bowl and they were playing on Halloween night. I could't get not going to support them off my mind all morning and I just felt I really needed to be there, so last minute we decided to go support the boys so that meant no costume because I was not about to freeze in it at the game since we were headed to a party right after. But I am glad we went to the football game even though it was a BUMMER the boys lost :( and there is always next year for my costume, and that gives me a WHOLE year to lose some weight to look better in it (ready to drag my out of shape butt running Paige :) ha ha! But I did dress my babies up so here are a few pics of them, and some recent pics. Hope everyone had a fun & safe Halloween! Our family on Halloween My Cute Bumble Bee
My Cute Pumpkin
All my Babies :)

Coop & Mylee these two are bes frens it is so cute to watch them!

...CoOpEr...

2009-10-22T15:14:00.005-06:00

So last night my parents got another beagle...we named him Cooper Edward :) He is so stinkin cute and we already love this little guy so much. He came home last night and was running around playing all night long, except Mylee didn't really know what to think of him at first and I think he was starting to annoy her, so I guess now she knows how her brother feels when she bugs him. My family is on this beagle kick, we now have three between us. It all started when my parents got Zoey for Cam and we have all fallen in love with the breed, if any of you have ever had one you know they are a lot of work but so so worth it! I love dogs SO much I feel bad for people that didn't grow up with one or don't have one in their home now, I don't think a home is complete without one. "Who ever said money can't buy happiness has never owned a puppy"!

The one who started it all...our niece Zoey June!

Our baby boy...Rosko Burke!

Our baby girl...Mylee Rae or Sis!

...SePtEmBeR 26, 2009...

2009-10-09T11:43:00.005-06:00

Ok so now that life is semi back to normal I can finally post some of my pics from the wedding. Our wedding day was EVERYTHING I dreamed of and much much more, it turned out to be so beautiful and it sure made all me & my moms hard work so worth it. Everyone kept asking if I was nervous to marry Dust and I never got nervous at all (no joke) I think it is because I have never been so sure of something in my life. I was a little nervous that I was going to lose it without my brother there in person but I know he was there and with me the entire time or I would not have made it through the day holding it together as well as I did. They day went by so fast like everyone said it would and I can actually say I am sad it is over so I am glad I have awesome pictures to remember it. I love Dustin with everything that I am and I love being married, even as close as we are being married has changed our relationship I feel like we are closer than ever and it just makes me smile to call him husband and call myself his wife. I love you babe and I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with you, and enjoy life's adventures with you! Everyone wore these angel pins in memory of my baby brother. (Great idea Mommy!)
Husband & Wife FINALLY!
Mom gettin me ready, I love this pic!
Me & my Daddy so presh!
LOVED my cake
Ring shot
My favorite thing to do...Kiss him!
Dust wanted to be all sweet about this feeding each other thing he was saying no don't smash it in my face, what did I do....Yep SMASHED it in his face!
This is my brothers Bronco so we took some pics by it and I love them!

Another Bronco shot with my beautiful bouquet

Great pic of the boys :)My lovely ladies, and can you believe my maid of honor on my right (Karlie) had my nephew only a week ago when this pic was taken.Nat, Me, and Stine. Such a cute picture

ToDaY!

2009-09-26T10:47:00.002-06:00

TODAY!... Is the day I get to marry my best friend and the love of my life :) I am so excited I can hardly stand it... I love you boo FOREVER and ALWAYS!

ThIs SaTuRdAy...

2009-09-21T08:42:00.002-06:00

This Saturday, September 26, 2009 I get to marry my best friend, soul mate, and the love of my life. It is so close I am feeling so many emotions. I met Dustin when we were 19 and nothing really came of it, but a year later we acutally hung out and I don't believe in love at first sight (just cause I don't think you can love someone you don't know) but I knew they was something special between us! I never thought that I would find someone that is so perfect for me, I am SO grateful to have him in my life and I honestly don't know what I would do without him. He is such an amazing person and has changed my life in so many ways I don't know how I could ever thank him enough for that. I love him so much and I can't wait to be his wife, I am going to spend the rest of my life loving him unconditionally and making him as happy as he has made me. I love you Boo, forever and always!

mY bRoThEr...

2009-09-14T08:47:00.003-06:00

So Friday September 11, 2009 was the one year anniversary of my brothers death. I have been dreading this day for so very long because I knew it was going to be a hard one. Suprisingly I did ok that day I thought I had gotten all the crying out that morning and spent the day with my parents and just remembered Cam. Well I went home that night and lost it, I packed Rosko up at like 9 and headed to the cemetery (for the 2nd time that day) in the dark like a crazy woman and just cried, and my mom finally came and got me because she didn't like me there alone in the dark. I just wanted to say that me and my brother were so very close and did everything together and talked all day long on the phone and text messages, there was never a doubt about how much he meant to me and what a strong bond we shared it was special and everyone around us seen it and would always say they wished they had a relationship like that with their siblings. Well let me just tell you, I had NO IDEA the impact that boy had in my life he is such a big part of me that I have come to the conclusion that I will never be 100% until I am with him again, his death is a void in my life that will never be filled. Cam was such a good person it is absolutley amazing the impact he had on so many peoples lives, I hope he knows and sees just how much he meant to everyone. I truly believe that after all he had been through at the hospital that he decided to leave this earth because of all that he would have had to live with after it was all said and done, I don't blame him. I am so grateful to have had him in my life and all this pain is a small price to pay for the time I had with him and I would do it all over again. I am also so grateful for the gospel and the peace of mind it gives me knowing that he is in a better place and that we are an eternal family and I will get to be with him again one day, I always tell my mom I feel sorry for people who don't have the gospel in their lives and have to deal with this pain on their own because my FAITH is all that gets me through it. I am grateful for my friends & family that sent nice messages and flowers to let us know they were thinking of us, also my Parents I don't know what we would do without each other our strong relationship helps us to be there for each other I love them so much! And last but not least I am so thankful for Dustin he lets me cry to him and break down and is just there, And when I have a crazy melt down he doesn't say a word other than letting me know how much he loves me and I love and appreciate him more than I could ever explain. Sorry about another sad post, but I wanted to do one in my Brother's memory.

No MoRe TaNNiNg FoR mE...

2009-09-08T14:15:00.003-06:00

So for months I have been a TOTAL FREAK about being tan in all my pictures and for my wedding day, especially since my hair is super blonde right now I didn't want to look like a ghost. Well recently a really good friend of mine, actually she is family...anways Stacy told me to never go tanning again because her cousin has Melanoma and it is just not worth it. So that got me wondering and I have done a ton on research on it and let me just tell you if you have not read about it and you tan you NEED too. It is so scary, I read how it not only affects your skin but can affect your organs and insides :( Also that if you tan regularly before the age of 30 you are 70% more likely to get it! I was so amazed at how many people get it and die from it a year, it totally freaked me out and I never care if I get into a tanning bed again I will just be white and I really will be because I have such fair skin. So for the wedding I am going to do the whole spray tan thing, Karlie found a way good place that I am going to use but does anyone have any recommendations on how soon before the wedding I should go? I heard for the first day maybe two it gets on your clothes a bit and I really don't want it on my dress! HELP!

sOmE pIcS...

2009-09-03T09:48:00.006-06:00

So this post is just going to be a picture overload since I have been so lazy and busy lately I haven't posted any of them. Some are from our trip to the Zoo when we took my little cousins, Some are from Tyler & Lyns BBQ for Tyler's birthday and last but defintely not least are pics of my babies!! Only 23 days until the wedding :)

These pictures are not posed, I caught them laying like this on my bed when I was getting ready! TOO CUTE!

I know it may sound crazy, but my dogs are so photogenic, I seriously have no trouble getting good pictures of them.

OuR bIsHoP...

2009-08-28T10:02:00.002-06:00

So I just wanted to blog about how I am feeling today. I wanted to tell everyone what an AMAZING bishop we have. As some of you may know my family and I have not been to "regular" with going to church the past little while for different reasons, lazy is probably the real reason when it comes down to it. Anyways while Cameron was in the hospital and after he passed our Bishop was by our side every step of the way, and even though that is what they do he was there as a friend and a bishop, he truly cared about Cameron's and our well being. Not once did he ask us to come back to church or pressure us to he was simply just there for us for whatever we needed. At that point I decided that my heart was completely set on this amazing man marrying Dustin and I when we were ready, and now that time is here. Our bishop was diagnosed with bladder cancer a month or so ago and they removed a cancerous tumor from him. He went back last week for more check ups/surgery and every tumor they removed from him was non-cancerous! He ran into my dad this morning and told him the good news and said that he wanted to thank our family for praying for him because he knows that we have a special link up there and he knows our prayers helped him. He also said I know one of the reasons I am better is because Cameron knows how much it means to his sister that I marry them. I just wanted to say how grateful I am for special people like him in my life and for the church, we all know that our Bishops are chosen by our Heavenly Father and they get chosen because of the wonderful people they are and the strong testimonies they have. I also want to say how thankful I am to have the gospel in my life, no matter all the wrong choices I have made in my life or that I stopped going to church I have never stopped believing in the gospel. I feel so lucky to have it in my life especially after all we have gone through I always tell my mom I dont know how people can deal with death and just life without knowing their loved ones are in a better place and we will be with them again. One of my favorite sayings is "If God will bring you to it, he will bring you through it" I believe that with all my heart, life gets really crapy sometimes and we may not know why we are experiencing the trials we are but there is a purpose and someday we will learn why if we stay strong.

tHe cOuNtDoWn iS oN...

2009-08-11T08:34:00.002-06:00

So I know I have totally been slacking with updating my blog but I have been so busy lately. Everything with the wedding is coming down to the last minute and its getting very stressful, I still am looking for a DJ so if anyone has any recommendations please let me know ASAP so I can get that out of the way, I would really rather use someone that someone else liked instead of not knowing them! Only 1 Month 2 Weeks and 1 Day until I am Mrs. Hammon :) I just got my bridals done on Sunday so there are a few on FaceBook if you want to check them out, I know it is a LONG shot but I dont want Dust to see them on here so I wont be posting any :( Other than that not to much new going on with us other than Mylee is getting so big I need to post some new pics of her because her coloring has changed so much. Last night me and Dust made them some blankets, just the fleece ones you tie but Rosko was so excited he couldn't wait for his to be done he kept rolling around on it while we were trying to cut it, and Dust is so cute he helped me tie them both. I also need to say thanks to my wonderful mom she has been helping so much with this wedding I appreciate it so much and my mother in law for doing the "groom" stuff on her own so it is one less thing on our plate I am so tired of making decisions!! And to my "sista" she knows who she is and is the BEST friend I could have ever asked for, she is to cute and excited to do my shower and I appreciate it! LOVE YOU ALL!!

eNgAgEmEnTs

2009-07-21T08:09:00.008-06:00

So we finally did our engagements a week ago, I have been so anxious to do these because I have amazing photographers and I was so excited to have some nice pictures of me and Dustin. Here are just a few of my favs so far...we still haven't seen them all yet. I can't believe the wedding is getting so close! We are so excited! Dang! We look so good together! LOL :)

FoUrTh oF jULy...

2009-07-08T12:54:00.002-06:00

So I ruined our 4th of July this year, because of my stupid kidney infection. We had planned on having a few people over for a BBQ and fireworks but Friday night my body had other plans for me. I woke up with the chills, fever, back pain, body aches and of course throwing up. I honestly could not move for 2 days and I am still not feeling good but I guess better than I did, I can honestly say I have never been this sick in my life it has been miserable. But I am so thankful for my awesome lover Dust he took such good care of me and was so helpful around the house and with the dogs...Love you Boo. And my parents they came over and made us dinner on the 4th since I could not cook and came to my rescue with medicine...Love them too. Oh and I cant forget my babies they never left my side and hung out with me for the past few days while I have been laid up...Love you Rosko & Mylee. Hope everyone had a better 4th of July than we did!

tO cUtE fOr WoRdS...

2009-07-01T13:23:00.003-06:00

So I thought this was so stinkin cute, Monday night I was cleaning up dinner and Dust got this bright idea to take the dogs for a little walk to our mail box since it is at the end of the street. I bought one of those leash connectors so you can walk 2 dogs with 1 leash, great idea. Well Mylee did not like the leash thing one bit so she freaked out half way to the mail box and pulled Rosko's collar off, good thing he sticks around and doesnt really even need a leash. Here are some pics of them walking & running from Dustin. I just thought it was so cute that he took them knowing it was going to be pain in the butt, he is such a great daddy. And I cannot even believe our wedding is like less than 3 months away, WOW time flies I cant wait to be Mrs. Hammon! :)

wE WiLL mIsS yOu

2009-06-29T10:40:00.002-06:00

So last night my family's chocolate lab Gus passed away. He had really gone down hill this past month and we went back and forth about putting him to sleep but none of us had the guts to do it...he has been in our family for 14 years and has been such a great dog, we loved him to much but it was so hard to see him suffer. So a few nights ago while my mommy was saying her prayers she asked my brother Cam to help us know what to do...and that it was going to be really hard for us to put him down but if that was what we needed to do then to give us the strength to do it. I truly believe that my brother came and got him to spare us the pain of having to take him and we are so grateful for that. Last night I was picking Mylee & Rosko up and I took them out to potty and I couldnt see Gus...and right as I noticed he was not out on the lawn Zoey (my brothers beagle) ran straight to the dog run and my heart sank as I followed her because I knew...I found him in his dog house. We will love and miss this dog so much he truly was such a companion and a member of the family but I find comfort in knowing that he is better and with my brother.

hErE thEy aRe!

2009-06-23T08:52:00.006-06:00

Finally some pictures of the inside of our house... Keep in mind I am still working on it. I will have to post pictures of our master bedroom and bath when they dont look like a bomb went off in there! :) Our family room and kitchen are coming together, it is weird the kitchen has been my favorite room to buy things for and I never thought it would be. Our living room is still bare other than the furniture, I wanted to get the other rooms done first! Hope you enjoy!

HaWaiiAn PaRtY

2009-06-22T11:04:00.008-06:00

Last Saturday we had a Hawaiian party at my aunt karens! It was so much fun...everyone came, all of our friends and family. We had hawaiian hay stacks for dinner with ice cream floats...a costume contest...and a hula hoop contest...my aunt karen even had a hula dancer come and teach everyone how to hula dance! We had planned on having a "bomb fire" (inside joke for you Tara) really I mean a bon fire but because of all this rain that didnt work out which sucked because me and Tara even had to go home and put sweats on and get out of costumes it was so cold! But despite the rain we had a good time...our Grandpa Widdison even came up, I love when we have our get togethers and get everyone together because we all have our busy lives and never get to see EVERYONE all at once. This was our first themed party usually we just have a casual dinner but we decided to have a theme for one every once in awhile. My idea for one was a Greek party dressing up for that one will be so much FUN! Here are some pictures I took that night most are of me and Dust hula hooping :) LOL

oUr NeW aDDiTiOn...

2009-06-17T08:17:00.005-06:00

So this is the newest addition to our family...our beagle Miley! Yesterday I was at work and browsing KSL while I was making some phone calls, what possesed me to look at dogs I still dont know (as a matter of fact I told Dust a week ago I didnt want a puppy right now cause they are so much work).... so I started looking at some Shitzu puppies because I have wanted one for awhile now but then I came across this beagle, my parents already have a beagle and she is the sweetest dog and so playful so I knew I would like this breed. Oh my heck she was adorable and melted my heart I had to have her. So I called Dust and pleaded my case to him and he said we could get her I was so excited that I didnt even care I was going to have to drive all the way to Orem to get her. Our drive home was quite an adventure though Miley was drooling all over because she was nervous so I put Dustins jacket underneath her well she was so nervous she threw up all over it...I hate puke and someones elses will make me throw up so as I am gagging I had to hurry and pull off the freeway to get the jacket in the trunk! But finally after the long drive we made it home and Dust fell in love with her too! She is so good she goes potty every time we have taken her out and she slept through the night which is SO nice. Of course she had to sleep with me and right on my pillow! I am so excited Rosko will have a little sister to play with now...I love my babies! (:

FiNaLLy...i WiLL gIvE yOu oNe

2009-06-04T07:47:00.006-06:00

so everyone has been telling me to put up some pictures of our house! well here is one of the outside...i will take some of the inside when i clean it this weekend, but remember i am still working on getting it decorated. i thought i had so much stuff before we moved out...but dividing it up makes me feel like our house is bare! we have lived together for 1 month now and i can honestly say it was the best decision we have ever made...i feel like it has allowed us to grow closer and make our relationship stronger. it is so much fun... :) on another note....

tonight is game one of the finals....GO MAGIC! i seriously hope they kick some laker butt. i am not a fan of the lakers and i think it is awesome the magic have made it this far because no one thought they would. and i have a soft spot for dwight howard...i think he is an amazing player but does not get the credit he deserves, and he is not a punk which seems to be rare in the NBA these days. so GOOD LUCK boys!

mEmOrIaL dAy...

2009-05-29T12:54:00.003-06:00

so this memorial day for me was very different from what i am used too...it is no longer about where we are going to go to get away for the weekend or where to have the bbq, it was all about missing my brother and really actually dreading the day! it is so weird how i miss every second of my life but certain dates and holidays kill me...i shouldnt have to visit my brother @ the cemetery for memorial day, we should be camping or fishing like old times. but i am sure everyone feels the same way i do about their loved ones who have passed on...but losing someone so close to you @ so a young age is the hardest thing i have ever experienced. i just want to say what a special person my brother was...and still is! he was so sweet and would do anything for anyone, he could always make you laugh & put a smile on your face...i will never forget the funny times we shared...we both love to tease. cameron has touched so many lives and i hope that he knows that, i know my life has changed so much he has made me a better person and i am forver grateful for that. RIP sweetheart we love and miss you more than ever imaginable...and cant wait for the day we are together again. families are forever!

MoThErS dAy & mY bIrThDaY

2009-05-12T14:41:00.002-06:00

so it was a super busy weekend for us. friday night boe and christine came over to see our new house, it was nice we just had a few drinks and talked for a few hours. then saturday was my birthday yay! i went shopping with my mommy to get mothers day gifts and to get my present from dust...poor kid i feel bad he has to shop for me i have everything i could ever need or want for that matter, but i was in need of a new purse so he let me go pick one out along with a new necklace thanks babe! then we had our friends bbq and left straight from there to the movie...which didnt work out so great none started for an hour so we opted to hit the red box and watch a movie at home, we watched the curious case of benjamin button it was pretty good. sunday, mothers day we met dustins family at the park to celebrate with everyone, and then had my parents & his over to our house that night for a bbq. we are so lucky to have such wonderful moms in our lives they are the best! i seriously dont know what i would do without my mom she does so much for me and is there whenever i need her to be! we love you guys!!

hAppY bIrThDaY tO mE :)

2009-05-08T11:39:00.002-06:00

so tomorrow is my 22nd birthday i love birthdays so i am very excited! normally i get so excited for my birthday just like a little kid...probably cause growing up my mom always made your birthday your special day, but this year i have been so pre-occupied that i have not even givin it much thought. i know tomorrow we are going to a bbq for a family friend that just passed the bar and is graduating from law school congrats matt! but other than that we have no plans for the big day LOL so we will just have to see what dust comes up with for me :)

iTs oFFiCiaL

2009-05-04T11:12:00.002-06:00

yep thats right we are officially roomates now :) it was a super busy weekend for us we moved into our home friday after work and it was a lot of work but so worth it. i have so much stuff it is unreal...dusty pulled up and had everything he owned loaded in a truck (1 load is all) me i had an entire army have to make 2 trips! on saturday i went out with my mom and bought us a nice new tv and our groceries i cant believe how much food costs to get a home started when you have to buy everything it made me a little sick buying a new tv and then buying all that food...it took me all day long so i was happy to get home to dust and i just have to say how cute he is i got home and he had changed our locks, toilet seats, and a bunch of other odds and ends. he helps me out so much without even being asked it is so nice! i havent gotten a chance to get started on putting my decorations up so my house is still looking pretty plain so as soon as i get those up i will post some pictures. i do just have to say that i am so grateful to have such wonderful parents & family they helped me so much and i appreciate it so so much! i am also so thankful to have dusty in my life he is such a help around the house i appreciate and love him more than i could ever explain...this whole living together thing has been so fun!

ToMoRrOw

2009-04-29T08:13:00.002-06:00

so tomorrow is the big day...we are supposed to be getting our keys to our house and doing the final walk through. keep your fingers crossed for us that it happens like it is supposed too! our sellers hate me because i wouldnt let them rent our house back ,i feel a little bit bad but we have waited a month & a half for them and we are anxious so i said no oh well though :) hopefully we can get everything moved this weekend and get all settled in...i want to have a house warming party when we are so everyone has to come! yay im so excited!

mY nEW tAtToO...

2009-04-22T07:30:00.002-06:00

here is a picture of my new tattoo well its not that new i have acutally had it a couple months now. i had went back and forth on the idea of getting a tattoo to remember my brother for a few months after he passed i couldnt decide if i wanted to get another one i think on some girls they look amazing but i had always promised myself i would only get one...so it took me awhile to get the guts to go get it. and i am so glad that i did i absolutely LOVE it! i am always thinking of my brother but it is so nice to look down at my wrist and have a constant reminder of how much i love him and miss him and to honor him and his life. he was always such an example to me and such a strong sweet person! you will always be missed brother and we cant wait for the day we get to be with you again!

oUr TrIp tO mOaB!

2009-04-14T08:17:00.012-06:00

so this weekend we went to my grandpas house in moab. we had so much fun i really was not expecting to be sad to leave :( it was so nice to get away for a little weekend trip i needed the break from work. we got there on thursday and just relaxed and did a little fishing in my grandpas pond...dust of course caught tons of fish, me i didnt catch one! but i had fun taking the hook out of his and putting them back. friday is the girls day to go shopping for our moab shirts then we met the guys at tater salad it was so windy that we didn't stay to long. on saturday is the big jeep safari day so while everyone went to do that me, dust, kyle, anna, aunt karen, & uncle scott went to town and goofed off for the day! then on sunday we have our easter egg hunt which my grandma hid the eggs so good me and dust found only 3 eggs! then it was time to go home i was sad to go but very anxious to get back home to my baby! i love my family so so much it was fun to get away with them and dust for the weekend and just enjoy being together :) LOVE YOU GUYS!!

sTrEss...

2009-03-30T11:49:00.002-06:00

so i have been very lame and have not had my camera out in awhile so i have no new pictures to post. but i would like to take a minute to blog about how stressed i have been the last few weeks! wow planning a wedding and this whole buying a house thing all at once is very stressful and overhwhelming...not to mention i work so much i never have time for anything else during the week, but i love my job and grateful that i have one, and when i get my check those extra long days will be worth it! i just cant wait for me and dust to be in our home and be married! other than that not to much is new with us...just work, work, work and we should be closing here in the next couple of weeks and then the fun of moving begins :(

oUr NeW hOmE...

2009-03-16T15:02:00.002-06:00

So this is some very exciting news for me to share...We got a house!! Well we put an offer in and it was accepted and we will be closing by mid April or possibly in a week or so, so everyone keep your fingers crossed that it goes smoothly for us. It is in Clinton and it is so freakin cute I LOVE it we both fell in love the minute we walked in and made our offer a few hours after. It is so exciting and I cannot wait to live with Dustin...but I am SO glad the process of looking is over it was so stressful and time consuming to go look at homes so we are lucky we found one so quick! I am a little nervous to move out of my parents house just because I am so close to them I know I will be there a lot!! :) Also an update on the wedding date....SEPTEMBER 26TH it is! Our reception center is booked so it is set in stone. It has really been a busy week with all this house stuff and wedding planning.

wEddInG dAtE....

2009-03-04T08:54:00.004-07:00

So I think we have finally settled on a wedding date...well kind of. We are thinking September 19th or 26th. I have always known I wanted to have a fall wedding because I LOVE fall colors, but I also want an outside wedding so my options for days were limited. October is pretty much completely out considering my dad is a huge hunter and I will need someone to walk me down the aisle so I cant interfer with the hunting season :) And as far as November goes it will be way to cold for my outside wedding! So we were left with September which will be a crazy month with Dusty's birthday and the 1 year anniversary of my brothers death which I have been dreading for months!! That will all be at the beginning of the month so I am shooting for the end of the month in hopes it will still be warm enough...so everyone cross your fingers for me! :) I will keep you all posted so you can come share our big day with us!! I dont have anything to new to update you on...we just got prequalified for a house last week so we are in the middle of looking for our first home which is very exciting and stressful at the same time, its an awesome feeling starting to take all these big steps in our relationship! We are also going to Mexico in April for my best friend Karlie's wedding, I am so excited for her I cant even stand it she has so many exciting things going on in her life I am glad that I get to be a part of it! She is an amazing friend and has always been there for me whenever I needed her and she was such a support for me with my brother and checked on me everyday...LoVe Ya GirL cOnGrAtS!!

JaZZ vs. LaKeRs...

2009-02-14T09:33:00.003-07:00

So on Wednesday night we went the Jazz game with our friends...We both had to work late so we were a little late but it was such a good game and we still had fun! It was a little irritating we had the MOST OBNOXIOUS Lakers fans behind us and of course we were cheering for the Jazz so me and Katie had a good time making fun of them and cheering for our team! After the game when the Jazz WON the Laker fans were still cheering go Lakers...so a Jazz fan yelled "YAY we lost" it was funny! And me and Katie were a little disappointed that our friend Shane left early because he is a Lakers fan and was running his mouth the ENTIRE game so we wanted to give him some crap back! Here is a picture of us before we left it turned out kinda blurry but I still think it turned out cute.

VaLeNtInEs dAy...

2009-02-10T12:46:00.002-07:00

So I have some new pics to post but I am to lazy to do it today...I have been sick and missed work so I am super busy and don't have time to upload my pics so I will another day. But since Valentines Day is Saturday I have been racking my brain trying to figure out something sweet do to for Dust (if you have any ideas they would be appreciated) I tried getting help from the girls at work and my mom but they can't come up with anything because they said I have done every cute idea imaginable for him already!! Nothing is to new with us though we are trying to get all of our stuff together so we can get pre qualified and start looking for houses...so that will be exciting I can't wait to wake up to Dust every morning. Yesterday when I was home sick I was just laying there and my mind starts to wonder so I wanted to blog about it but I couldn't till I got to work today cause our home computer is broke! Anyways back to the point of the story I was thinking about how much my life has changed and it was just crazy to me...I never ever thought that I would be so head over heels in love with someone like I am with Dust! He is truly my very best friend and I love that some of the best times of my life are with him sitting on my couch or laying in bed just enjoying being together! I think it was on my mind because all we did all weekend was be lazy we didn't do anything and I still look @ the weekend and think wow I had fun! I love that boy more than I could ever explain and I am so grateful that I have him in my life. I love the way he looks @ me and kisses my hand and doesn't care who is watching...or when he sees me and just smiles!! Anyways I will stop with all this sappy love stuff...you girls all know what I am talking about though! LOL

GO GATORS!

2009-01-21T13:04:00.004-07:00

Ok so here are the pictures of our little stud! He was all decked out in his shirt and collar for the big Florida Gators game. Like I said before Dust is a HUGE Gators fan and has been since he was little so when me and my mom decided to get him a Gators hoodie for Christmas... Rosko had to match him...just me being me. ;) These are just some pictures I took of him while he watched the game with me, he is so stinking cute...he is seriously such a good dog and has a great personality! We love him!!

iT hAs BeeN aWhiLe...

2009-01-15T12:53:00.002-07:00

I know it has been awhile since I have blogged but I got a new camera and I have misplaced my cable to put my pictures on my blog :( I have so many cute pictures to post! There are some of Rosko in his Florida Gators gear for the big championship game...which they won YAY! Me and Rosko are becoming Gators fans because that has been Dusty's favorite team since he was little, so since he was getting a new Gators hoodie for Christmas Rosko had to match him so I got him a Gators collar and T-shirt! I also have cute pictures of my brothers grave that we decorated for his birthday...it turned out very cute! I will try and find that cable tonight so I can get them on there. Some new exciting news... I have a new position at work which means a raise so that was nice especially when we are going to look at getting a house here shortly! I can't wait to get to wake up to my love everyday...I am such a baby though it will be an adjustment for sure being away from my parents because we are so so close! As far as the whole engagement thing...it is so PERFECT I love being able to tell people that Dust is my fiance and talk about getting married, and I LOVE my ring it is beyond beautiful! But there is still no date...yes we are slackers and need to get on that but we are in no rush and are really concentrating on this whole house thing, I do know one thing I want a fall wedding so maybe this year! :)

iT FiNaLLy HaPpEnEd!!

2008-12-27T11:54:00.011-07:00

It finally happened!! Last Friday Dustin asked me to marry him. It could not have been more perfect we went to this Christmas lights at temple square with my family in the snow storm (you see just how bad it was snowing in my pictures). I had been begging to go to see the lights because I love them...and as we were watching my cousin play in the snow Dust kissed me a few times and pulled the ring out of his pocket and asked me to marry him! It was perfect the ring took my breath away...although I picked it out I had no idea when I would be getting it and I honestly could not have asked for anything better than being with my family and on the temple grounds when he asked because I know my brother was there watching it all! I cannot wait to marry Dust and spend the rest of my life with him, he makes me so happy and I know I have truly found the love of my life and my best friend. I could never explain how much I love and how much he means to me I want to spend the rest of my life making him happy! I love you babe...this is just the beginning!!

cHrIsTmAs fUn...

2008-12-09T09:00:00.014-07:00

I don't have to much to write about lately, we have just been busy busy getting ready for Christmas luckily I am getting close to being done with shopping! This Christmas is going to be a hard one for sure and different...here are some pictures me and Gaige took while we were helping my parents decorate my brothers grave. It turned out so CUTE good job mommy! I think while this is hard sometimes it was nice going to the cemetery as a family to decorate the grave, I usually love to decorate the tree but I think this going to be my new favorite part of Christmas decorating because we will always have his grave lookin the best. ;) This holiday season I have really let my mind focus on the true meaning of Christmas and not letting it wander to stressing about gifts and I know it is my brother trying to show that to me in my heart...we should all be grateful that we have our families to share Christmas with aside from all the gifts and the parties. I hope that everyone can feel that Christmas spirit this season!

ThAnKsGiViNg...

2008-12-03T11:06:00.002-07:00

I love Thanksgiving! I love being able to get together with friends and family and just enjoy hanging out and watching football together. It is a holiday meant to really make you think about what you are thankful for...this Thanksgiving was very different for me because for the first time in my life I really paid attention to all that I have and why I am thankful for that because I know first hand how short and precious life is and how quickly you can lose someone you love. Every single moment you have in life is a blessing and we all need to slow down and cherish every single minute of it! I am so Thankful for my brother....he is my hero and has changed my life in so many ways and I am so blessed to have had him in my life for 13 years. He taught me so much and I am forever thankful for him and cant wait until I get to see him again! I am thankful for Dustin, I can never say it enough of how much I love him and I honestly dont know what I would do without him in my life, he has been there for me so much and I am so happy that I get to have him in my life and I am so excited for our future together. I am also so thankful for my parents I love them so very much and I am grateful for the close relationship that we have so we can be here for each other through these rough times ahead. Sorry I have no pictures to post of us from Thanksgiving, it was a hard day for me and I spent most of it crying and missing my brother, also Dustin was sick so we did not feel up for pictures that day. It was a nice day though...we started at my house and had dinner with my family and then we went to his house for round two which was nice cause I got to meet a lot of his family! I am also thankful for my wonderful in laws :) Then we got in the hot tub and just talked all night, it was very nice and relaxing!

oUr WeeKeNd...

2008-11-18T10:02:00.004-07:00

It was a busy busy weekend for me....Well Friday night we hung out at my house and tried to watch a movie but just ended up falling asleep cause we are getting old and always tired! But I was up early Saturday as me and my mom headed off to TWO baby showers that day. Then as soon as I got home it was off to dinner with our friends (Boe & Christine, Shawn & Shannon, Shane & Karlie) and then to Boe's to watch the UFC fights, it was a fun night and nice to get out with our friends because we havent done much with them lately with everything that has been going on. Sunday I went shopping with my mom...one of my favorite things to do! And I am very proud because I came home and went through my closet to get rid of some clothes in an effort to try to de-clutter my life, I have so many clothes that I don't know where to put them all. I have decided I need to find a new hobby because I can't afford this shopping one anymore!

sTaRtiN tO GeT tHe hAnG oF tHiS

2008-11-14T10:34:00.002-07:00

So I have kind of started to figure this out a bit...But I really don't have much to write about for this week it has been pretty uneventful so far. Except on Tuesday me, my mom, and dustin's mom all got together and had a craft night, it was really fun we made the cutest pumpkins for a fall decoration! All...well most of our friends are going to Vegas this weekend and I am so jealous, I wanted to go so so bad but we have to save our money for a house so we can move out ;) But we are going to go out with Boe & Christine so hopefully after the weekend I will have something exciting to write about! Make sure to check out my slideshow I made today...it is in memory of my brother and my very best friend that my family recently lost...we miss him so so much and can't wait for the day we get to see him again! RIP Cam we LOVE you and miss you...there is not a day that goes by that we don't think about you!

nEW @ tHiS

2008-11-13T14:41:00.001-07:00

So I am totally new at this, so be patient and don't laugh at my page cause I am having a hard time figuring it out!!